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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22555633">Next exit: my heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaexings/pseuds/jaexings'>jaexings</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Oh darling, don't you ever grow up [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, M/M, Neighbors, Single Parents, Strangers to Lovers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:00:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>29,278</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22555633</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaexings/pseuds/jaexings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The only excitement in driving instructor Doyoung’s life is going home at the end of a long workday and spending time with his cats. Until new neighbours, a young father and his son, move into the apartment across from his and reshape his life in the best possible way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Suh Youngho | Johnny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Oh darling, don't you ever grow up [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1627180</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>488</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Johnny Fic Fest: Round One, WIP OLYMPICS: WINTER 2019/20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Next exit: my heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/painttheworldinpastels/gifts">painttheworldinpastels</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/mypage/gifts">mypage</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Happy birthday Doyoung and Johnny ♡ Written for Johnny fic fest Prompt #JS100. </p><p>Content warning: Baby Jeno has a sensory-related feeding difficulty. It is managed well in the story but please do not read if you are sensitive to content that involves food/eating.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Doyoung glares at the ceiling of the car. </p><p>He presses his back against the passenger seat and crosses his arms. If his new student needs one more reminder to hold the steering wheel properly, he’s going to need to make a detour to the shops and buy a bottle of vodka on his way home from work today. </p><p>Doyoung has tried his best to be understanding but this eighteen-year-old is really testing his patience. In his three years of work experience as a driving instructor, he has not had to repeat himself <i>and</i> repeatedly demonstrate a basic skill so many times after five lessons with a student. </p><p>“Do I turn here?” the student asks, the last vowel of his question distorted by a mighty yawn. Before Doyoung even has the opportunity to reply, the student turns the car. </p><p>“You forgot to indicate right before you turned,” Doyoung points out. The student shrugs, brushing him off and Doyoung resists the urge to curse.</p><p>This student is probably going to turn out to be one of those reckless, irresponsible young drivers on the road. Doyoung can see it happening and there’s absolutely nothing Doyoung can do to stop this boy because he doesn’t give two shits about what this silly instructor his parents hired has to say. It reminds Doyoung that he <i>definitely</i> will not have kids in the future because all the kids in this day and age seem rather spoilt and ungrateful. </p><p>“Take the second exit at the roundabout,” Doyoung instructs, his foot hovering over the brake on his side of the car. </p><p>Teaching people how to drive is not the most exciting job in the world. It was exciting originally, during the first few months after he started working at this driving school. But after a solid year of circling the same roads, braving near accidents, and reprimanding nonchalant students, the excitement wore off rather quickly. </p><p>Reflecting back, if Doyoung is being honest with himself, getting to wear his new work uniform—a blue tennis shirt and black slacks, both bearing the company’s logo embroidered in white thread—and feeling like a real professional was possibly the most exciting part about his job for his twenty-two-year-old self. </p><p>The bills though, Doyoung has to remind himself. He needs to pay the bills because he has to raise his cats—probably the closest living thing he’ll have to children—and in order to provide them with the best care that he can, he must earn money. </p><p>Working as a driving instructor sucks sometimes (like right now) but it’s ten million times better than having to attend one more lecture or read another journal article to write yet another last-minute essay. Studying really isn’t his forte, so having to study for another three to five years at university for a chance to score himself a higher paying job doesn’t sound all that appealing. </p><p>Since tertiary education didn’t quite work out, this is the job that he has to stick with. It’s not the best paying job he can get, but it’s decent and he gets by. When he evaluates his options other than further education, the mere thought of working in a different industry, namely retail, brings on a headache. So changing jobs is also ruled out.</p><p>Fortunately, they return to his workplace in one piece. Being the responsible man he is, he continues to provide his student clear instructions on how to reverse into the allocated parking spot for the car they’re using, despite knowing that the kid’s not going to listen. His student hops out of the car whistling after a shitty parking attempt and leaves before Doyoung dismisses him. </p><p>He’s really going to need that vodka. </p><p>It’s a Friday afternoon and he can go all out because he won’t need to get out of bed at seven-thirty for work tomorrow. Thankfully, the rest of his workday ends rather smoothly and he clocks out on the dot, making a beeline for the metro station. </p><p>His commute back home is uneventful, save for his desired detour to the shops to fulfil his wish to get drunk tonight. He used to call his friends, maybe Yuta or Kun, to join him at his place for post-work drinks but at twenty-five, Doyoung just wants some quiet time with his cats. </p><p>The bottle of vodka is wrapped up nicely in a brown paper bag and tucked safely under his arm as he strolls home. He takes the elevator up to his apartment, even though it’s only on the third floor because he has minimal energy left to function and the stairs always take the life out of him. </p><p>He runs into Aunty Lim, who lives in the apartment on the other end of the hallway as he exits the elevator. She pulls him aside and greets him warmly, fussing over him the way his mother does when he travels home to see her. </p><p>“Have you eaten dinner?” she asks sternly, staring down at the bottle in Doyoung’s arms. </p><p>Doyoung laughs nervously, “Not yet, but I have food at home. Thanks for asking.” She looks unconvinced and Doyoung knows she will offer her delicious cooking if he asks, but he needs to be an independent adult at his age. “Have you had dinner yet?” Doyoung adds, in an attempt to steer the conversation away from himself. </p><p>“Yes, I have. I was just going to stop by the shops to buy some ingredients. I’m going to be cooking some stew tomorrow morning for the new neighbours that moved in this morning. Do you want some as well?” </p><p>“New neighbours?” Doyoung blinks.</p><p>“Yes, they moved into that empty apartment across from yours. A lovely young family with a young child. The boy was very well-behaved for his age, much better than my grandchildren, I must say,” Aunty Lim muses, adjusting the straps of her handbag on her shoulder.</p><p>A friendly grandmother used to live in that apartment with her husband. After he passed away, about two years ago, her health deteriorated quickly within the first year of his passing. Earlier this year, she moved back to her hometown to live with her son and that apartment had been left empty for months. </p><p>“Oh, I will bake something for them then,” Doyoung says thoughtfully. He wonders what child-friendly baked goods he can make for his new neighbours. </p><p>Doyoung’s floor used to be filled with middle-aged to elderly residents. They were the ones who initiated the tradition of welcoming new neighbours with gifts and home-cooked food. Prior to living in this apartment, Doyoung avoided contact with his neighbours and kept to himself. Three years ago when Doyoung moved into this building, he was at the peak of his career—and probably life—crisis. As cheesy as it may sound, his neighbours’ warmth and kindness touched his heart during a period of time that he needed comfort the most and it re-shaped his perspective on building positive relationships with his neighbours. </p><p>While many of his old neighbours have moved away over time, Doyoung and the remaining neighbours are eager to maintain this tradition. So that’s what Doyoung will do tomorrow afternoon. Bake something for his new neighbours—hopefully not while nursing a hangover.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>Doyoung wakes up the next morning feeling fine despite drinking at least half a bottle of vodka by himself. His mouth is disgustingly dry, but he's too amazed by the lack of hangover to be bothered by it.</p><p>As he clambers out of bed, he finds a glass of water and painkillers on his bedside table that he does not remember placing before he knocked out on his bed last night. At least intoxicated Doyoung is still responsible enough to save sober Doyoung.</p><p>He downs the glass of water and heads to the kitchen to feed his cats. At the sound of his bedroom door opening, Hana, his older cat, comes dashing over, meowing loudly.</p><p>"Sorry I slept in," Doyoung says to her, stepping carefully as she weaves between his legs, "you must be hungry."</p><p>Hana replies with a particularly loud meow.</p><p>Doyoung laughs, "Yup, definitely hungry."</p><p>His other cat, Rina, is nowhere to be seen, even after he pours food into her bowl. It's a little odd because she usually comes rushing over at the sound of food.</p><p>Doyoung scratches Hana on her head as she eats from her bowl. "Where's your baby?" he asks but she doesn't respond.</p><p>He does a quick scan around the main rooms in his apartment and eventually finds Rina crouched beside the washing machine in the laundry room. Doyoung sighs. <i>Of course</i> she managed to find her way in here. Both of his cats enjoy napping in his laundry basket on top of his clothes, so Doyoung tries to keep the laundry room door shut to the best of his ability. But much to his dismay, Rina has learned to open doors.</p><p>"Rina, it's time to eat," Doyoung calls out.</p><p>Rina meows at the sound of her name but doesn't turn to look at Doyoung. She swipes her paw at the gap beneath the washing machine, unusually fixated on something.</p><p>"Rina," Doyoung says exasperatedly, bending over to pick her up. She whips her head around and hisses at him when his hands touch her. "Hey, what's going on? It's breakfast time, come on." Technically it's brunch, but Doyoung doesn't know if his cats understand that word. Doyoung doesn't know if his cats understand him at all.</p><p>She turns back to the gap and swipes her paw repeatedly until she pulls out a large cockroach.</p><p>"Oh my god," Doyoung wheezes, scanning the laundry room for a slipper. He doesn't get to smack the cockroach though because Rina snaps at the twitching insect and devours it in one mouthful. Doyoung screeches in disgust, startling Rina. "I put food out for you but you choose to eat that thing?"</p><p>Rina tilts her head and purrs, blinking her big eyes up at him. Her tail sways side to side, sweeping the tiled floor.</p><p>"You're lucky you're so cute." Doyoung grumbles, gently nudging her side with his foot. "Come on, let's get some proper food in your tummy."</p><p>Once he is certain that Rina is eating her cat food and not creepy crawlies lurking in some dark cramped space in his apartment, Doyoung heads to the bathroom for a shower. </p><p>It's past twelve when he's all clean and dressed in fresh clothes that are free of cat fur. His fridge is rather empty so he heads out for brunch since he has to stop by the shops to buy groceries anyway.</p><p>He only remembers about having to bake for his new neighbours when he is strolling past the aisle stocked with flour and pre-made cake mix. He spends about five to ten minutes examining the products displayed on the shelves.</p><p>He doesn’t know what kind of baked goods a child would like but he’ll just have to adapt some recipe. The sun will set in about two hours so Doyoung's not really in the mood to bake a cake. Maybe cookies. Children like cookies, right? He mulls over this until he spots a dinosaur-shaped cookie-cutter. Chocolate chip cookies shaped like dinosaurs—surely the child will like this? He plucks the cookie-cutter off the shelf and snags a bag of chocolate chips on his way out of the aisle.</p><p>The cookies don't take long to make. He makes them all the time for Taeyong. Baking for Taeyong keeps him happy and in addition, Taeyong's praises feed Doyoung's confidence in his baking abilities. So it's a win-win situation. The dinosaur cookie-cutter is adorable and Doyoung considers baking dinosaur cookies for Taeyong the next time he visits for dinner.</p><p>An hour and a half later, Doyoung finds himself standing in front of the closed door to Apartment 305 with a paper bag filled with cookies in his hands. He’s already pep talked himself at home but he permits himself a moment to take a few deep breaths before knocking on the door. </p><p>While he has become more eager and more open to the idea of being on good terms with his neighbours, introducing himself to strangers is still a scary thought. He reminds himself that it’s not as bad as his brain constantly tells him. In fact, he has never been faced with a hostile neighbour since he started to visit them with welcome gifts like the other aunties on this floor. </p><p>It’s a little disappointing when no one responds. He went through the effort to mentally prepare himself to meet them but now he’s going to have to do it again at a later time. A small voice at the back of his mind suggests that maybe they’re home but they just didn’t hear him. So he knocks again, ignoring the way his chest flutters from a mixture of excitement and anxiety. </p><p>Still, no response. Doyoung turns on his heels to head back home. Right as he fishes his keys out from his jacket pocket, the door behind him clicks and swings open.</p><p>He is greeted by a male voice, firm but polite. “Can I help you?” </p><p>It must be the father. As Doyoung turns on his heels to greet his new neighbour, he is faced with a tall young man who looks roughly around the same age as him. He blinks dumbly, forgetting the greeting speech he had rehearsed at home. </p><p>Aunty Lim mentioned that the family is rather young but Doyoung didn’t think that the father of the child would be <i>this</i> young. For all Doyoung knows, this man could be younger than him. There’s nothing wrong with being a young father, of course, but this is the part about meeting new neighbours that throws Doyoung off. His mind always constructs an image of what he predicts his new neighbours to be like—yet, it throws him off time after time when they turn out to be completely different to what he had been expecting. </p><p>The man arches an eyebrow ever so slightly as he asks once more, “Can I help you?”</p><p>Doyoung traces down the column of his nose with his eyes, scanning over his face and noting how he has a well-defined philtrum and Cupid’s bow. His hair is brown and has been parted to reveal his forehead. In the midst of engraving every detail of his new neighbour’s face in his memory, Doyoung belatedly realises that a socially inappropriate amount of time has passed since the man asked his question</p><p>“I… live next door.” He waves a vague hand in the general direction behind him. As Doyoung fumbles with his words and he contemplates on lying to this man. </p><p>It’s a tempting thought—make up some excuse about how he didn’t knock on the door and that coincidentally, he just happens to be on his way home. He <i>does</i> live across from their apartment so this man would not know if Doyoung was really the one who knocked or not. This will buy him time to retreat and piece himself together before he attempts this whole welcoming present thing again. </p><p>A pleasant smile stretches across the man’s face. “Nice to meet you,” he greets, “we just moved into this apartment.” </p><p>The logic for his plan to lie is flawed and to Doyoung’s dismay, his plan crumbles to pieces rather quickly. If they are new neighbours, they are bound to run into each other again sometime soon, so there’s no point playing hide and seek. His new neighbour is standing right before him so he might as well get the introductions and pleasantries out of the way. For god’s sake, his welcome present is in his hands. He should just hand it over.  </p><p>“I’m Johnny,” his new neighbour adds hastily, stretching out a hand for a handshake. </p><p>Doyoung shakes his hand and introduces himself. “Oh here,” Doyoung adds with a mumble, thrusting the paper bag of cookies in Johnny’s direction. “I baked this for you—your family—as a welcome gift.” </p><p>Speaking of Johnny’s family, he wonders where the child is. That is, if he even has a child. The door to Johnny’s apartment is half-open but there have been no signs of a young child so far—no voices, no noises. From Doyoung’s experience, children are usually quite noisy.</p><p>Johnny peeks into the bag to examine the contents. “That’s so thoughtful of you! You shouldn’t have,” he exclaims. “Oh are these—did you make dinosaur-shaped cookies?” </p><p>The look of surprise on Johnny’s face is rather endearing and Doyoung chuckles, feeling his heart warm. </p><p>“Yes, they’re dinosaurs,” he confirms. Doyoung wonders if Aunty Lim had mistaken Johnny’s relative as his son. Maybe the child was Johnny’s nephew or niece, or even a friend’s child. He did say ‘we’ when he mentioned that he had just moved into this apartment, so he’s definitely not alone. </p><p>“Thank you so much, my son will love these!” </p><p>And there it is. So Johnny <i>does</i> have a child. Speaking of the devil, a small child appears in view from behind Johnny. </p><p>“Daddy?” he calls, rubbing his eyes sleepily. </p><p>“Jeno darling, come over and say hello.” </p><p>The child—Jeno—obediently pads over, pressing himself against the back of Johnny’s right thigh. </p><p>“Hi!” he chirps, tilting his head to peek at Doyoung from behind Johnny’s leg. Jeno stares at him with large, curious eyes and Doyoung suppresses the urge to squirm. “What’s your name?”</p><p>“I’m Doyoung,” Doyoung replies, drawing his lips back into a small smile.</p><p>Jeno looks rather small but he’s not tiny either. Doyoung tries to gauge his age but he has absolutely no idea if Jeno is two or four years old. He’s talking, so maybe he’s four?</p><p>Popping out from behind Johnny, Jeno exclaims, "I'm Jeno!"</p><p>Jeno's self-introduction surprises Doyoung. Jeno is nothing like his cousins' children, who Doyoung sees annually during the Lunar New Year family gatherings. The children in Doyoung's family are rather shy in front of the extended family, often turning their bodies away from unfamiliar adults and burying their faces in their parents' laps when asked to greet the others. Then when the attention is no longer on them, they play loudly among themselves.</p><p>He notes how in the few minutes that they have met, Jeno doesn't seem to be afraid of unfamiliar adults. If anything, he seems curious about strangers and confident in the way he interacts with them.</p><p>"Look Jeno! Look what Doyoung brought us," Johnny says, his voice filled with enthusiasm.</p><p>"What? What?" Jeno jumps up and down, his hands reaching out for the paper bag in Johnny's hands.</p><p>Johnny squats down to be at Jeno's height and offers the bag for Jeno to examine. "You ready? You're going to love this."</p><p>Doyoung finds the interaction rather amusing, particularly when Jeno presses his whole face into the opening of the bag.</p><p>"It's so dark! What's inside?" Jeno whines.</p><p>Johnny tickles Jeno's ear and muses, "Pull your head back out. Try putting your hand in there instead."</p><p>The squeal of delight Jeno unleashes reminds Doyoung of the way Taeyong lights up at the sight of Doyoung's baked goods. It's filled with innocent, childish delight and it's oddly satisfying to witness.</p><p>"Can I eat them now?" Jeno begs, gazing up at Johnny with pleading eyes.</p><p>Johnny hums, "Not now, it's almost dinner. You can have one after dinner."</p><p>"Okay," Jeno nods. He pulls his hand out of the paper bag and removes the cookie crumbs on his hands by rubbing them on Johnny's sleeves.</p><p>Johnny, completely unfazed by the fact that his navy sleeves are now dotted with crumbs, instructs Jeno to place the bag of cookies on the table in the living room. He climbs back to his feet and turns back to Doyoung as Jeno toddles off.</p><p>"I'm afraid we have to get going now," Johnny reveals apologetically after glancing at the clock on the wall above the shoe rack.</p><p>"Oh, of course," Doyoung blurts, taking a small step back over the threshold so that he's outside Johnny's apartment.</p><p>"It was lovely meeting you though. I hope to see you around again," Johnny smiles sincerely.</p><p>It takes Doyoung a moment to process Johnny's words, though he doesn't get the chance to reply. He's interrupted by loud pads of small feet against the wooden floorboards of the hallway and within three seconds, Jeno appears in view with a toy train in hand.</p><p>"Look, my new train!" Jeno chirps, shoving the train into Doyoung's hands.</p><p>"Oh," Doyoung blinks, turning the train gingerly, unsure of what to do or say to a child of two—maybe four—years of age. He racks his brain and says the first thing that comes to mind, "I love this colour."</p><p>"Me too!" Jeno bounces on the balls of his feet, "orange is my favourite colour!"</p><p>"Alright, we can talk about your train another time," Johnny says gently, tidying Jeno's hair so that it doesn't stick to his forehead. All that running around must have made him sweaty.</p><p>Jeno tilts his head up to look at his father and pouts as he says, "I want to play!"</p><p>"Quick, go put on your shoes. Mummy's waiting for you," Johnny tickles Jeno's side.</p><p>At the mention of his mother, Jeno lights up. He escapes from Johnny's hands by slipping through the gap between Johnny's body and the front door. Doyoung wonders if he will get to meet Jeno's mother but she doesn't appear in view. Maybe that's why they're heading out—to meet her somewhere for dinner.</p><p>There's loud rustling as Jeno presumably searches for his shoes. Doyoung takes this as his cue to leave. "It was nice meeting you too. See you around!" He passes Jeno's train back to Johnny and heads back to his own apartment.</p><p>But not before sneaking one last glance at Johnny's warm smile.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>The rest of Doyoung's weekend passes by in a blur, not because he's busy but because he spends his Sunday lounging on the sofa binge-watching a show he's been planning to watch for a while. He has had this all-or-none mindset since he was in high school and sometimes, it's rather tiring.</p><p>After the eighth episode in a row, Doyoung calls it a night and goes to bed, exhausted to the bone despite not doing anything particularly productive all day. His eyes feel super dry and he conks out the instant he rests his head against the pillow and settles beneath his blanket.</p><p>He's lucky that his internal body clock is accurate and persistent because Doyoung rises at exactly seven-thirty in the morning. At the sight of the time displayed on his digital clock, he sits up in bed, alarmed. He had forgotten to set an alarm last night and he's goddamn lucky that his body wakes him up when he needs to naturally.</p><p>His workweek begins rather slowly but the tasks are routine and the students he sees are all familiar faces. Before he knows it, the end of the week swings by and he's in desperate need of company because the spoilt student he teaches every Friday afternoon continues to drive him up the wall.</p><p>As he commutes home, he proposes a spontaneous, last-minute dinner to his friends in the group chat. Taeyong replies instantly, likely on his way home as well, and offers to cook for whoever is free to have dinner at his place. The thought of bathing himself in the presence of his best friends after a rough day at work comforts Doyoung and extinguishes the anger burning inside him. It makes the walk home bearable and helps him summon the last of his energy to shower and change out of his work uniform quickly.</p><p>On his way out, he runs into Johnny and Jeno. He pauses in his doorway and sends them a small wave. Johnny has a backpack slung on his shoulder, way too small for his tall stature. Doyoung squints at the bag and confirms that it is probably Jeno's, judging by the Paw Patrol characters on the front (Doyoung only knows about Paw Patrol because it's one of his cousin's children's favourite television show and it's the only thing he talks about every time Doyoung sees him).</p><p>"Hi, Doyoung!" Jeno greets enthusiastically, skittering down the hallway to greet Doyoung at his door.</p><p>Johnny trails after him and stops a few steps behind Jeno. "Heading out?" Johnny asks.</p><p>"Yes, just to a friend's place for dinner," Doyoung replies politely, inching forward to shut his front door. He doesn't get to though. During the brief moment that he pauses to observe Johnny, Hana sneaks up behind him and squeezes herself between his legs.</p><p>"Hana!" Doyoung groans as she rubs herself against his pants, purring loudly. Great, now he's going to show up to Taeyong's with all this cat fur on his pants.</p><p>"Kitty!" Jeno squeals, rushing forward to squat before Doyoung.</p><p>Surprisingly, Jeno's abrupt movement doesn't startle Hana. She pads forward instead, sniffing Jeno's hand when he reaches out to pet her. After deeming it suitable for further examination, Hana begins to lick Jeno's small hand, her tongue running over his small fingers slowly.</p><p>Giggling, Jeno pulls his hand back, "Ah! It's itchy."</p><p>Hana advances forward and curls herself against Jeno's side, purring louder than before. Jeno's hands are a little clumsy when he pats her head but she doesn't seem to mind. Doyoung watches in awe, trying to process Hana's behaviour.</p><p>Johnny draws Doyoung out of his thoughts. "We were just about to go out too," he says with a small nudge of his head towards the elevator.</p><p>"She's usually not this affectionate," Doyoung points out, "at least not with someone she's meeting for the first time."</p><p>"I love her!" Jeno tilts his head up to tell Doyoung then proceeds to bend over to hug Hana. </p><p>The hug, Doyoung discovers, is where Hana draws the line. She yowls and crawls her way out of Jeno's arms, retreating into the apartment. </p><p>"Come back!" Jeno cries out, a look of disappointment surfacing on his face.</p><p>"Hana likes pats but maybe not hugs." Doyoung pats his shoulder and suggests gently, "I have another cat actually. Her name is Rina, she's Hana's baby."</p><p>"I want to meet her," Jeno declares, pointing inside Doyoung's apartment.</p><p>"Hey Jeno," Johnny walks forward and draws Jeno close to him, as if afraid that Jeno would invite himself into Doyoung's apartment without permission. "Remember, when we want something, we have to ask nicely."</p><p>Turning to look up at Johnny, Jeno asks, "Can I please meet baby meow?"</p><p>"Oh, don't ask me. You have to ask Doyoung. They're his cats," Johnny replies. He points towards Doyoung and nudges Jeno's shoulder, urging him to turn around.</p><p>Jeno repeats the question and Doyoung nearly laughs when Jeno calls Rina 'baby meow' again. He wants to say yes to Jeno's request and invite him into the apartment, but he will be late to dinner if he doesn't leave now.</p><p>"I'm sorry Jeno, I have to leave now. Maybe another time," Doyoung hums. He steps out of his doorway and locks his front door. "How about tomorrow afternoon?"</p><p>"Ah, Jeno will be away this weekend. Will you be free in the evening on Monday?" Johnny proposes, ruffling Jeno's hair and drawing him close when he whines sadly.</p><p>"Monday works," Doyoung smiles. "Bye Jeno, see you on Monday."</p><p>Jeno lets out a sad bye and Doyoung catches sight of him burying his face into Johnny's thigh as he turns to walk down the hallway. As he makes a beeline for the stairs—they're infinitely faster than waiting for the elevator—he hears Jeno mumble something like, "I want to see them now."</p><p>Doyoung doesn't know why he agreed to show Jeno the cats again on Monday. He does love anyone who shows interest and affection towards his babies though, so maybe it's because of that.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>“Rough day?” Yuta asks gently as he sets the table, laying out cutlery for three.</p><p>From Doyoung’s peripheral vision, he sees Taeyong turn to look at him. Leaning against the kitchen counter, Doyoung sighs, “Yeah, that kid I have to teach on Friday afternoons gave me a hard time.”</p><p>Yuta hums sympathetically, patting Doyoung on the shoulder when he slips past him to grab two cork trivets for the pots. Taeyong turns off the stove and carefully transfers the pot to the dining table, using tea towels to protect his hands from the pot handles. Doyoung wonders how they’re able to predict each other’s next moves without much verbal communication.</p><p>Yuta and Taeyong work together like a well-oiled machine and it amazes Doyoung all the time. Doyoung can’t imagine himself being on the same wavelength as someone, to be able to understand them through the subtlest change in expression or movement. Maybe it’s because he’s never been in a serious long-term relationship—at least, for as long as they have been together.</p><p>Unlike most of Doyoung’s friends who are in a relationship, Yuta and Taeyong do not sit together at the dining table. Taeyong joins Doyoung on one side of the table and seats himself to Doyoung’s left. Yuta takes the place at the head of the table, sitting to Doyoung’s right. </p><p>“Help yourself to more,” Taeyong nudges Doyoung in the middle of a conversation about Yuta’s new job as Head Chef at a restaurant located a suburb away from their apartment. </p><p>Doyoung peers down at his plate and as he notices that he had unknowingly finished his food, Yuta reaches for his plate and scoops another serving of food for him. He thanks Yuta with a bright smile and digs in again. After an exhausting day, it feels nice to be taken care of by someone other than himself.</p><p>There’s something about Yuta and Taeyong’s relationship that makes Doyoung feel comfortable and welcomed, rather than feeling like he is third-wheeling his friends. He wonders if Yuta and Taeyong have had a conversation about this at some point in their relationship and reached an agreement to shift their attention away from each other and instead, focus on the presence of their other friends to not make them feel awkward. </p><p>Doyoung has never discussed this with them but he greatly appreciates that they do this, whether it is intentional or not. It’s not nice to feel like you’re intruding in on a very private and intimate moment between couples—Doyoung has experienced it first hand, one too many times with his other friends.  </p><p>Kun arrives late but makes it just in time for dessert. Yuta’s coworker has been testing out new recipes for their restaurant so they’re all spoiled with small palm-sized yuzu cheesecakes. Doyoung peers at the intricate decoration adorning the cake. It’s almost too pretty to eat. </p><p>Somehow, a conversation with Yuta about decorating cakes shifts directions and ends up at the topic of Doyoung’s new neighbour. Doyoung accidentally describes Johnny as an ‘attractive young man in his twenties’ and Kun teases him about it as they set up a game of monopoly in the living room. </p><p>“Stop!” Doyoung laughs, tackling Kun so that he falls back against the sofa. “He’s a dad! He’s got a family with a young son.” </p><p>“Oh, that’s a shame,” Yuta frowns, handing out the correct amount of toy paper notes to each person. “Did he like what you baked for him?” </p><p>Doyoung scratches his chin, “Uh, I bumped into him before I came here but he didn’t mention it. He was going out to meet his wife. His son spotted Hana and was fascinated by her.”</p><p>“What did you make?” Taeyong pipes up, straightening the stacks of counterfeit notes set aside for the bank. </p><p>“Dinosaur-shaped chocolate chip cookies,” Doyoung replies, noticing the way Taeyong’s eyes widen with curiosity and interest. He’s definitely going to have to bake a batch for Taeyong next time. </p><p>Yuta abruptly climbs to his feet, his eyes sparkling as he suggests, “Hey, should we drink? None of us has work tomorrow right?” </p><p>Some part of Doyoung tells him that Yuta wants to take advantage of his Friday night because once he settles into his new job, he will be in charge of the weekend shifts. It will be harder for them all to meet up freely like this so Doyoung agrees. If he had stayed home tonight, he would have drunk by himself anyway.</p><p>Four hours later at one in the morning, the game of monopoly ends. They’re all too drunk to continue so nobody wins.</p><p>Doyoung squints at his row of properties, disliking the way the letters in each property name blurs and swims around slightly. It’s Taeyong’s turn and he rolls a four with the dice. To his disappointment, Taeyong lands on Kun’s mansion and becomes the first player to be eliminated. </p><p>“No! I’ll sell my last property, I should have enough money to pay you back, let me do the maths,” Taeyong protests.</p><p>“Babe you have no more money left, just give up,” Yuta waves his hand airily. </p><p>Taeyong ignores Yuta’s comment, opting to wave a ten-dollar note in Yuta’s face. “Where’s the calculator, I can’t add these numbers in my head right now,” Taeyong climbs to his feet, quite like the way Yuta did earlier in the evening when he got up to grab the bottle of vodka in their pantry, albeit a little more unsteady. </p><p>Kun grins, calling after Taeyong, “Yuta’s right, you know. Maybe you should call it a night.”</p><p>“No!” Taeyong yells back and unleashes a childish whine. His voice sounds somewhat muffled, like it’s far away. Maybe Taeyong has wandered into his and Yuta’s bedroom to find a calculator—Doyoung’s not all that sure himself. </p><p>Accepting that Taeyong has lost his game, Yuta and Kun resume the game and continue playing. Yuta rolls the dice and loses them when they roll off the coffee table. They spend five minutes searching for it, only to find it beneath the sofa beside an empty shot glass that had rolled onto the carpeted floor. </p><p>“That was a trek,” Yuta slurs, rubbing his head. “Whose turn was it?”</p><p>They sit in silence, eyeing one another. Doyoung thinks so hard his brain might shut down. </p><p>“Didn’t you just roll the dice?” Doyoung eventually speaks up, pointing at Yuta. </p><p>“Did I? I thought I’d already had my turn. It was Kun’s turn, wasn’t it?” Yuta replies.</p><p>“No, but the dice rolled away when it was Doyoung’s turn,” Kun points out. </p><p>“That’s not right, I haven’t rolled the dice in half an hour!” Doyoung exclaims. “It was Yuta who rolled it off the table.” </p><p>Thinking is exhausting, Doyoung concludes. A wave of exhaustion washes over Doyoung and he peers at the clock on the wall. It’s either half-past one or two, he can’t determine the exact location of the hour hand from this distance. </p><p>“Let’s call it a night, I think Taeyong fell asleep wherever he went off to,” Yuta sighs. “Do you guys need to go home? You’re welcome to stay over if you want.” </p><p>After another round of dice rolling between Kun and Doyoung, Kun wins with a cheer and gets escorted to the guest bedroom by Yuta. It’s probably not Doyoung’s luckiest day considering Kun rolled a six and he rolled a two. </p><p>“Leave the game, we’ll clean up tomorrow morning,” Yuta mumbles as he haphazardly sets up the sofa with spare pillows and a blanket for Doyoung. </p><p>Doyoung’s so drunk that he dozes off for a while before he wakes up long enough to notice the empty vodka bottle is lodged between the sofa seat cushions and that the mouth of the bottle is digging against his hip. As he tugs the bottle out from its hiding place and sets it on the coffee table, Doyoung vaguely thinks about how much of a mess he is at twenty-five and how he’s meant to have his life together at this age but he’s still blindly travelling at his own pace. </p><p>At least he has genuine friends who love and care about him; for twenty-year-old Doyoung, that was enough of a reason for him to be content with his young adult life. Doyoung sighs, closing his eyes to shut away the spinning room. Maybe twenty-five-year-old Doyoung should continue holding onto this blessing and to not take it for granted.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>He runs into Johnny at the shops on Saturday afternoon.</p><p>It’s unexpected and catches Doyoung off guard. While he hasn’t put much thought to his new neighbour since his friends teased him about it the night before, Doyoung had expected Johnny to be away. He did mention that Jeno would be going away, so naturally, Doyoung assumed that Johnny would be away too. </p><p>They run into each other at the milk aisle and they converse in front of the fridges stocked with neatly arranged milk bottles. </p><p>“He’s with his mother,” Johnny smiles at Doyoung. Their eyes meet briefly then Johnny glances down at his shopping basket to rearrange the contents. “They went to visit Jeno’s maternal grandparents.” </p><p>But why isn’t Johnny with them? Doyoung wants to ask, but Johnny’s smile is pleasant enough that Doyoung drops the question in mind. They must have their personal reasons and Doyoung doesn’t want to ruin the positive relationship they have at the moment. </p><p>Johnny reaches for a cold bottle of soy milk, carefully placing it in the new space he made in his shopping basket. It piques Doyoung’s interest because none of his friends drink soy milk. Doyoung didn’t drink milk when he was younger but shortly after he started working, he opted to have cereal and milk for breakfast because it’s a quick and convenient option.</p><p>However, after several occasions of sitting through a long workday with an upset stomach, Doyoung suspected that he is lactose intolerant. It doesn’t seem too severe though because he’s fine after consuming food with a little bit of dairy in it—mostly dishes that Yuta cooks for him from time to time. It’s mostly when he has it in a sizeable quantity. </p><p>His suspicions were confirmed once he changed to a non-dairy option and he’s never turned back since he started having soy milk with his cereal. He wonders if that’s the case for someone in Johnny’s family—if Johnny himself is lactose intolerant, or his wife, or little Jeno. It’s a question for another day though, Doyoung decides as he ambles towards the check-out counters with Johnny by his side. They’re practically strangers and it’d be weird to ask such a question.  </p><p>“Are you here to restock your groceries?” Johnny asks nudging his head towards the shopping basket in Doyoung’s hand.</p><p>“Yeah, I usually don’t have time during the week because of work. Well, I do, but it’s a detour to come to the shops and I’m usually flat-out exhausted by the end of a workday.” </p><p>They stop in the same check-out line with Johnny in front of Doyoung. There’s an elderly grandmother in line before them. </p><p>As the staff assists the grandmother with her items, Johnny twists his body around to ask Doyoung, “If you don’t mind me asking, whereabouts are you working right now?” </p><p>“I work at a place about twenty minutes ride on the metro from the City Hall,” Doyoung replies. “As a driving instructor,” he adds.</p><p>The staff calls for the person next in line and Johnny greets them politely. When Doyoung finishes paying for his groceries, he is mildly surprised to see that Johnny is waiting for him by the exit. It’s nice to have company on the way home for once. Grocery shopping is a chore that Doyoung doesn’t particularly enjoy (because his money always leaves his wallet) but it’s something that he has to do to continue living. He needs food to survive after all.  </p><p>Johnny resumes their conversation and by the time they reach their floor at the apartment, Doyoung learns that Johnny is a firefighter and that the fire station that he works at is located ten minutes drive away from Doyoung’s workplace. </p><p>“We should have lunch together sometime,” Johnny suggests. “I’ve been working at that fire station for a while now, but I’m new to this neighbourhood and it would be nice to make some new friends.” </p><p>Doyoung nods and they exchange numbers outside their respective apartment doors. </p><p>“See you Monday,” Johnny shifts his grocery bags to one hand to wave at Doyoung.</p><p>“Monday?” Doyoung pauses, turning away from his front door where the key is inserted into the lock. </p><p>“Yeah, you’re still okay with Jeno coming over to see your cats, right?” Johnny muses.</p><p>Doyoung had already forgotten about that. He should jot it down in his work calendar as soon as he gets back into his apartment so he doesn’t forget. </p><p>“Of course,” Doyoung nods, “he’s welcome to come over anytime.” </p><p>As Doyoung shelves his newly purchased products from the shops, he wonders if he will regret his last words. Children can be rather unpredictable and Doyoung isn't ready to deal with toddler tantrums. </p><p>That is, if Jeno is still a toddler. He’ll have to ask Johnny about his age next time.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>The only thought that propels Doyoung through his mundane workday on Monday is, surprisingly, Jeno’s upcoming visit in the evening.</p><p>It’s unusual because children do not excite him the way they excite Yuta. Nevertheless, he is strangely looking forward to seeing Jeno again; he’s excited to see Johnny too. It’ll be nice to be on good terms with a neighbour around his age as well. Johnny’s at a very different stage of his life than Doyoung—with a wife and a child—but he’s positive that there are many things that they can still discuss and bond over.</p><p>Beyond his new neighbour and his son, Doyoung is most excited about introducing his cats and sharing his love for them with others. Particularly when they are eager to meet them. While he’s never had a child of his own, Doyoung’s certain that his love for his two cats can equate to the love a parent has for their children. </p><p>He clocks out at the exact time his workday ends with his belongings in his hands and speedwalks to the metro station. Luck is on his side today and he finds himself on an express service that is not as packed as it usually is by the time he gets to the station. Maybe he should walk faster or even run to the metro station every day after work. The idea is scrapped within seconds because Doyoung doesn’t enjoy vigorous exercise and dislikes having to rush even more. </p><p>Doyoung decides against feeding his cats as soon as he gets home. He usually feeds them at this time but he thinks it will be nice if Jeno can watch the cats feed. Doyoung will have to remember to warn him to not touch the cats or their food while they’re eating. He might even let Jeno feed some treats to the cats. </p><p>The idea is easier said than done though. It’s unbearable trying to ignore Rina’s loud meows of protest and her insistent rubbing against his ankles, demanding for Doyoung’s attention and food. </p><p>“Sweetest, wait another fifteen minutes, alright?” Doyoung hums in sympathy. “I didn’t forget that you need to eat!” </p><p>He scratches the area behind her ears and it does the trick. She purrs loudly then leaves him alone after a few more pats. Hana is balanced precariously on the arm of the sofa, dozing off. </p><p>“I just vacuumed that sofa,” Doyoung grumbles to himself. “Great, now there’s more cat fur everywhere.” </p><p>He does a second round of last-minute tidying around his apartment and lays out two plates of snacks—fresh strawberries and seaweed crackers. Doyoung won’t ever admit this out loud but he spent all of his Sunday evening cleaning his apartment in preparation for little Jeno’s visit with Johnny. </p><p>Busy with tidying up, Doyoung nearly misses the small knock on his front door. He glances at the clock, confirming that it’s around the time that Johnny had suggested for him to bring Jeno over. </p><p>The last thing he expects when he unlocks the door is Jeno sitting on Johnny’s shoulder, his small hand balled into a fist, ready to knock again.</p><p>“Ah! Hello,” Jeno exclaims in surprise, wobbling a little on Johnny’s shoulder as he waves enthusiastically at Doyoung. </p><p>“Hello,” Johnny echoes Jeno. He stabilises Jeno by snaking his arms around Jeno’s body. </p><p>Doyoung welcomes them into his apartment, noting how they’re both dressed comfortably, especially Johnny who is in a large knitted sweater. It’s cream in colour and suits him perfectly. In fact, it outlines his upper body and emphasises the right places. Doyoung swallows at the realisation. It’s no wonder that Johnny is suited to work as a firefighter.</p><p>“I think this is the first time we’re actually running on time because Jeno’s so excited about seeing the cats he got ready in record time,” Johnny muses. He tugs off Jeno’s shoes before toeing off his own beside Doyoung’s shoe rack. </p><p>“I’m very pleased to hear that he was excited about seeing my cats again,” Doyoung admits with a proud smile. </p><p>“Alright, Mr Jeno, are you ready to go on a cat hunt?” Johnny tilts his head up slightly to look at Jeno. </p><p>“Yes! Let’s go!” Jeno squeals, pointing to his right with his stubby hand. </p><p>Johnny obediently follows, shuffling slowly towards the living room. “We have to be very quiet. We might wake the cats!” Johnny whisper-yells. There’s no doubt that Johnny has already spotted Hana napping on the sofa. </p><p>Doyoung trails after them, watching them in amusement. Rina is nowhere to be seen—most likely scavenging the kitchen for scraps of food.   </p><p>Gripping onto a tuft of Johnny’s hair in each of his hands, Jeno tugs and exclaims, “Kitty!” </p><p>“Gentle hands, Jeno, no pulling,” Johnny winces, reaching a hand up to loosen Jeno’s hold. </p><p>Hana startles awake and expels herself from the sofa with a mighty jump. She curls up under the coffee table, hissing. </p><p>“She just woke up from a nap so she might be a bit grumpy,” Doyoung explains to Jeno who appears saddened by Hana’s reaction. “But I have something that might cheer her up. Do you want to help me?” </p><p>Jeno nods eagerly and demands to be put back down. As Doyoung searches his pocket for the packet of cat treats, he notices that Hana’s not the only one that swivels her head towards the rustling. Jeno watches Doyoung intently as if waiting for something magical to appear. </p><p>“Ta-dah!” Doyoung pulls out the packet, hoping that it’s enough of a surprise for a young child. “Special cat treats! Do you want to feed one to Hana?” </p><p>“Yes please,” Jeno replies, already reaching a palm out to ask for some treats. </p><p>Placing a treat on Jeno’s hand, Doyoung reaches out his own towards Hana and demonstrates how to feed her. “Keep your hand flat, she’ll come to you.” </p><p>Sure enough, Hana slips out from her hiding place under the table and approaches Jeno with cautious steps. When she nips the treat off Jeno’s hand and licks it clean, Jeno giggles, “It tickles!” </p><p>“This is the mother cat you met last time,” Doyoung beams, pleased to see that Hana is comfortable with Jeno like last time. She rubs her body against Jeno’s body and purrs, her tail waving around, high in the air. “Her name is Hana.” </p><p>“Mama meow?” Jeno tilts his head curiously at Johnny. Then, he turns his head to stare at Hana, as if examining her appearance to help recall if she is indeed the cat he met last time. </p><p>Johnny chuckles at this, ruffling Jeno’s hair, “Yes, Hana is the mother cat.” Doyoung doesn’t miss the way Johnny smiles affectionately at his son. </p><p>“Would you like to meet her baby? Her name is Rina,” Doyoung asks. </p><p>They go on another cat hunt at Doyoung’s offer, all piling into Doyoung’s kitchen to look for his other cat. Hana follows them too, meowing loudly for attention and more cat treats. Like her mother, Rina warms up to Jeno instantly. She abandons the spot that she was searching and pads over to sniff the hand he holds out to her. </p><p>“Your son’s quite the Cat Whisperer,” Doyoung comments as he hands Jeno a treat to feed Rina. </p><p>“He’s interested in patting anything fluffy. The zoo is his favourite place,” Johnny smiles back, watching Jeno with his arms crossed. Jeno coos at Rina, calling her ‘baby meow’ again and Johnny adds, “He’s not too great with names just yet.”</p><p>“That’s alright, he can call them whatever he likes. As long as he’s gentle with them, they’ll play with him.” </p><p>Doyoung prepares the cats’ dinner and instructs Jeno to sit on the side while they eat. Jeno tries his best to leave the cats alone but his curiosity gets the better of him. He creeps towards them a few times and in the end, Johnny has to seat him in his lap to keep him away from the cats until they finish their meal. </p><p>When the cats are done eating, they naturally gravitate towards where they are seated—much to Jeno’s delight. He clambers off Johnny’s lap to pet the cats. Doyoung pulls out the box of cat toys and Jeno plays with the cats while he converses comfortably with Johnny. </p><p>In the middle of the conversation about how Johnny and his family have settled into their new apartment, Doyoung notices that Johnny nibbles on some of the snacks but doesn’t offer Jeno some. Johnny follows Doyoung’s gaze to the plate of food, then Jeno, and explains sheepishly, “Jeno doesn’t like strawberries.”</p><p>“I’m so sorry!” Doyoung says quickly, feeling somewhat foolish for choosing a fruit that Jeno doesn’t like.</p><p>“Oh, please don’t apologise. Jeno’s a little different when it comes to food,” Johnny says. He continues and clarifies when Doyoung flashes him a look of confusion, “Jeno’s a fussy eater so there are many things that he doesn’t like eating.” </p><p>“Is there something that he particularly likes to eat? I can try to find something for him,” Doyoung asks, climbing to his feet.</p><p>“It’s okay, no need for you to go through all that trouble,” Johnny declines politely, urging Doyoung to sit down again. “It’s almost dinner and I have food prepared for Jeno already. He can eat after playing with the cats.” </p><p>Doyoung smothers the disappointment rising in his chest. He was planning to invite Johnny and Jeno to stay for dinner, and perhaps, ask his wife to join them too. Maybe next time, he reassures himself. He should invite them to stay in advance next time. </p><p>At half-past seven, Johnny announces that it’s time to go home. Jeno very reluctantly helps to pack the cat toys away. Sensing that their guests are about to leave, Doyoung’s cats see them off at the door. Hana weaves between Johnny’s long legs, almost tripping him, while Rina curls up beside Jeno’s shoes as he attempts to put them on by himself. </p><p>“Bye-bye, baby meow,” Jeno says sadly, patting Rina on the head gently. With a quiet meow, she closes her eyes like she’s enjoying the touch and attention.</p><p>“Don’t forget to say thank you to Uncle Doyoung,” Johnny reminds sternly, turning Jeno around to face Doyoung.</p><p>“Thank you!” Jeno clambers to his feet to hug Doyoung’s legs. “Can I come again next time?”</p><p>Doyoung bends over awkwardly to hug Jeno back. “Of course, but you should ask your dad first.” He pats Jeno on the head, not unlike the way Jeno had just patted Rina. </p><p>“Thanks for having us,” Johnny thanks Doyoung sincerely. Right before Doyoung shuts the front door, Johnny turns around and adds, “You know, you’re great with kids. The same way Jeno’s good with your cats.” </p><p>Even after Johnny and Jeno are long gone and back in their apartment, their voices muffled by the door, Doyoung remains at his front door thinking about Johnny’s words. He’s not sure how to respond, but Johnny made it sound like a compliment so he should probably just accept it.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>For the first time in Doyoung’s career, he’s thrilled that a student has failed their driving test.</p><p>It’s his rude, lousy student on Friday afternoons, of course. It takes Doyoung’s every cell of willpower to wipe the smug smile off his face. The sour look on his student’s face, when he returns with the examiner, is rather satisfying to look at. </p><p>The examiner greets Doyoung and hands over the student’s scoring sheet. They exchange pleasantries then the examiner leaves to supervise the next driving test. Doyoung scans over them before turning to his student. </p><p>“Quite a few of the areas that you were scored ‘not satisfactory’ in during your driving test were basic skills that you should be familiar and comfortable with by the end of your learning period,” Doyoung explains, trying his best to maintain his professional facade. </p><p>They were really basic mistakes, like not indicating before changing lanes or going over the speed limit. They’re things that Doyoung had flagged to the student during their final three driving lessons but it appears that Doyoung’s advice went in one ear and out the other. The student rolls his eyes and Doyoung barely holds himself back from snapping at him. </p><p>He takes a deep breath before continuing, “Our protocol for students in your situation is to refer you onto a more experienced, senior driving instructor at our office for at least three more lessons before you re-sit the test. They will keep an eye on your progress with the basic skills flagged from your driving test and will assist you to the best of their ability.”</p><p>Doyoung can’t wait to refer the student onto Taeil—not that he wishes for his colleague to suffer. Taeil is his senior at work and he treats those around him with care, but he has a strict side that might be effective enough to deal with this devil of a student. He had consulted Taeil about referring this student onto him early on, however, Taeil decided that they should give the student a few more lessons and chances to improve before making a further decision. </p><p>And here they are. Doyoung gleefully gathers his student’s paperwork and slides them onto Taeil’s desk with a bright yellow sticky note. As he strolls back to his desk, he feels a heavy load being lifted off his chest. He barely holds himself back from sitting back in his swivel chair with his feet on the desk. </p><p>He figures that it’s almost noon before checking the time. He knows because his stomach grumbles in protest and his body clock is terrifyingly accurate, never failing to remind him of when he needs to eat. </p><p>“I deserve to treat myself to something nice for lunch,” Doyoung announces under his breath. It’s an excellent idea. Work has been a little rougher than usual and he deserves a reward for preserving through his time with his Friday afternoon student. </p><p>The silent celebration in his head is interrupted by a loud buzz in his desk drawer. He has a habit of setting his phone on aeroplane mode first thing after arriving at work every morning, but he must have forgotten to switch the setting on again after answering his mother’s text about visiting her next weekend. </p><p>Right as Doyoung is convinced that his Wednesday morning cannot get any better, he unlocks his phone to find a text message from Johnny, asking him if he is free for lunch. To avoid disturbing his working colleagues—there’s a lot of paperwork to file during the driving exam period—he ducks off to the breakroom. Only when he is certain that the room is empty and void of any nosy eavesdroppers does he dial Johnny’s number.   </p><p>The dialling tone rings in his ears and when the familiar click of someone picking up the phone resounds through the receiver, he notices just how fast his heart is thudding against his chest. </p><p>“Hey,” Doyoung greets, a little breathless. Must be the rush to the breakroom, he thinks, pressing a hand to his chest. </p><p>“Hey! Did you see my text?” Johnny chirps brightly on the other end of the line. There’s a lot of background noise—traffic and other people conversing loudly. Johnny must be outside right now. </p><p>“Yeah,” Doyoung replies dumbly, “yeah I did.” </p><p>“I had some errands to run near your workplace and my shift doesn’t start till later in the afternoon,” Johnny explains. “Are you…” </p><p>There’s a loud commotion on Johnny’s end, consecutive beeps and angry yelling. Even though Doyoung anticipates what Johnny is about to say next—after all, he did receive an invitation through text already—his heart feels like it’s about to beat right out of his chest. It’s silly because it’s not like he’s about to go on a date; it’s just lunch with his new neighbour.</p><p>The sound of a bell ringing resounds and then, it's quiet on the other end. Johnny must have stepped into a store of some sort, away from the busy streets. </p><p>“Are you free for lunch?” Johnny repeats himself.</p><p>“Yes, I’m free,” Doyoung blurts immediately after Johnny asks his question. </p><p>He wonders if he replied too quickly but it probably doesn’t matter. Lunch with his neighbour, he reminds himself. Just lunch. He’s a grown-ass man and at the age of twenty-five, he’s made plenty of friends so this should be a piece of cake. He shouldn’t overthink it. </p><p>The piling thoughts dissipate one after the other and Doyoung sighs in relief, feeling his mind clear. He checks the clock above the kettle. It’s slower than real-time so he always needs to remember to add ten minutes to the time displayed. </p><p>He does the maths quickly in his head. “I have a forty-minute lunch break in about fifteen minutes.”</p><p>“Great!” Johnny says and Doyoung can almost see him grin through the phone. “Have you tried that burger place next to the bank?”</p><p>“Only once or twice but from memory, it’s pretty good,” Doyoung hums. </p><p>“See you there in fifteen minutes.” </p><p>The burger joint is two streets away from Doyoung’s workplace so he ends up five minutes late. He doesn’t anticipate the lunch hour rush and the sight of the packed store devastates him. Johnny doesn’t seem to be waiting in line so his mind whirs to think of another place that they can eat at before his lunch break ends. </p><p>His phone buzzes as he fishes it out to text Johnny. </p><p>‘I see you standing outside. Come inside, I got us a table by the window.’</p><p>Doyoung raises his head to see Johnny waving at him through the window. He sighs, relief spreading warmly in his chest. </p><p>“It’s rush hour,” Doyoung shakes his head. “It completely slipped my mind that it’ll be busy.”</p><p>“That’s why we have two brains between us,” Johnny laughs, “I remembered so I came here as soon as we spoke on the phone.” </p><p>Johnny gently pushes the menu towards Doyoung and proceeds to pour Doyoung a glass of water from the jug on the table.</p><p>“Any recommendations?” </p><p>Doyoung blinks at the menu then the glass of water. He’s used to being the friend who helps everyone settle into their seats. It’s sort of his role among his friends—pouring everyone a glass of water each and handing out cutlery and serviettes. It’s not a big deal, really, but his brain has to blatantly point it out to him with red flashing lights that it’s been a while since someone else has poured him a glass of water. </p><p>“Doyoung?” </p><p>“Oh yes—” Doyoung scrambles to flip open the menu, “uh, the Classic Burger is usually their most popular burger, kind of like their signature dish. I usually get that one. If you don’t mind pineapples, the Tropical Sunset Burger is pretty good too.” </p><p>“I’ll have the sunset one then,” Johnny announces, pushing his seat back to stand up. “Any drinks?” </p><p>Doyoung shakes his head. When he realises that Johnny plans to leave the table to order and pay at the counter, he stands up too. “Wait, let me pay.” Standing face to face with Johnny, their slight height difference is noticeable. </p><p>Johnny places his hands on Doyoung’s shoulders and pushes him to sit back down. “It’s fine, I asked you out to lunch today so it’s my treat.” </p><p>“Hey, no—” Doyoung protests, resisting Johnny’s hands. </p><p>“You can have a chance at fighting to pay next time if you’re free to have lunch with me again next Wednesday,” Johnny grins triumphantly. </p><p>Feeling slightly defeated, Doyoung slowly sits back down again. It’s not Doyoung’s first time meeting a caring friend, one who pours him glasses of water and offers to pay for his meal, but he wonders if Johnny has always been this caring towards the people around him. He wonders if having Jeno and a family of his own to care for has made Johnny like this. </p><p>“I have a habit of sitting by the window because Jeno likes to watch people pass by when we’re eating,” Johnny shares when he returns. He settles in his seat across from Doyoung and tucks the change and receipt into his wallet carefully. “Ah, it sounds creepy when I put it that way…”</p><p>Doyoung shakes his head, “Not at all.”</p><p>“He’s just very pure, you know? He’s got quite an imagination for a three-year-old and he likes to ask about the strangers around him. Where’s the bike lady going? Where is the mummy taking her baby? What are they doing?” Johnny rolls up his sleeves, the corner of his lips twitching a little as he talks about his son. “We can sit together for hours and hours and just make up stories about people together.” </p><p>Doyoung can visualise it. Johnny sitting with his son by the window at an ice cream store, people watching and storytelling. </p><p>“Does he like reading?”</p><p>“He’s a little too young to read,” Johnny explains. “Kids usually learn to read around five or six when they start going to school. But he loves looking at picture books with me.” </p><p>Doyoung scans his surroundings curiously, noticing that little Jeno is not with them today. He’s too little to be going to school right now so he must be at home. </p><p>“Where is he now? Is he with your wife?” </p><p>“Ah…” Johnny hesitates. “He’s at daycare. He goes five days a week because I work full time.” </p><p>The waiter approaches them and serves them their burgers. They’re both plated nicely on their respective yellow plates. Their conversation resumes after the waiter leaves.</p><p>“Actually, Jeno’s mother and I are separated,” Johnny explains slowly. “She lives two hours away and Jeno visits her every weekend—or fortnight when we’re both busy.” </p><p>“I’m so sorry making assumptions like that,” Doyoung bows his head, staring at his burger. He’s not so hungry anymore. Embarrassment bleeds through his body and he feels his ears burn. It was rude of him to assume that Jeno’s mother was living with them and that she was Johnny’s wife. </p><p>It explains many things though. Like why Doyoung only sees Johnny and Jeno together, how Jeno’s mother never appeared once after Johnny moved in, and why he saw Johnny by himself last Saturday when Jeno was with his mother. </p><p>“Hey, it’s okay,” Johnny says gently. </p><p>He raises his head slowly and sneaks a look in Johnny’s direction. Doyoung can’t quite put a finger on the expression on Johnny’s face but his gut tells him that Johnny has been expecting this question to appear in their conversation for a while now.</p><p>Johnny sends him a reassuring smile, “There was no way that you could have known and I would have told you eventually when we were more comfortable with each other.”</p><p>Doyoung shakes his head, “Still, I shouldn’t have assumed…”</p><p>“It’s a very natural thought to think that a child is living with their mother,” Johnny says kindly. Then, he lowers his voice and adds, “People ask many questions when you’re a single dad so I guess I’m used to it.” </p><p>Doyoung doesn’t know if he misheard or if he is overthinking this but he senses a hint of sadness in Johnny’s voice. He wonders if other people had asked inappropriate questions and made insensitive comments about Johnny’s living situation in the past. </p><p>“Let’s dig in before our burgers get cold,” Johnny prods at the edge of Doyoung’s plate, edging it a little closer to Doyoung. </p><p>As their conversation topic switches to their plans for the rest of the week, Doyoung continues to feel a little uneasy. He does cheer up a little when he remembers about his student failing earlier in the morning. Johnny laughs at the story and Doyoung joins him, smiling around the last of his burger. They part ways outside the burger joint with the promise of lunch again next Wednesday. </p><p>His new knowledge about Jeno’s mother slips to the back of his mind and stays there, forgotten until after work when he finds himself standing in the hallway outside his and Johnny’s apartments.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>Wednesday comes around again faster than Doyoung is ready for and this time, he is clever enough to reserve seats in advance at the udon place across the road from the burger joint they ate at last time. This time, he arrives before Johnny and he requests a table beside the window. </p><p>They’ve run into each other a few times throughout the week and over the weekend and every time they part ways, Doyoung is left thinking about their Wednesday lunch meeting (it’s not quite a date… or is it?). The mere thought of having lunch with Johnny again leaves Doyoung a little breathless. He’s going to have Johnny all to himself. For an hour as well—he had asked his manager for an extra fifteen minutes off. </p><p>A small part of him prays that this will become a regular thing because even if Johnny’s not interested in being something more with him, it will still be nice to have a close friend that he can lean on. He used to meet up with his friends more regularly, especially Kun, but these days everyone is busy with work. Despite living in the same city, months can pass by before they meet up again. </p><p>“Parking’s a nightmare here,” Johnny whines when he arrives. He’s breathless and a few strands of hair stick to his forehead. “How do you manage every day?”</p><p>“I don’t,” Doyoung smiles wondering if he ran to the restaurant, “I take the metro.” </p><p>“Ah, maybe I should do that next time,” Johnny replies sheepishly, like he had never thought of the option of taking public transport instead. </p><p>As Johnny catches his breath, Doyoung snags this opportunity to pour him a glass of water. He had already laid out a pair of chopsticks of Johnny while waiting for him to arrive. Johnny gulps down the glass of water and Doyoung refills it immediately. </p><p>“Thanks.” Johnny nudges his head towards the menu, “Have you ordered?” </p><p>Doyoung shakes his head, passing the menu to Johnny, “I wanted to wait for you to come first. I wasn’t sure if you were allergic to anything.”</p><p>“Jeno’s allergic to cats,” Johnny announces—blurts—out of nowhere. </p><p>Doyoung blinks, taken aback at the sudden revelation, “He is?” His mind whirs, rewinding back to the first time Jeno met Hana by his door and then to that time he came over to play. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” </p><p>“I didn’t know,” Johnny explains, leafing through the menu and scanning the pages. “He had a runny nose and itchy eyes when he went to stay with his mother—after that time we ran into you at your front door—but we thought it was just a cold. I presume he was feeling uncomfortable but he didn’t understand what he was feeling.”</p><p>Their conversation is, once again, interrupted by the waiter. Johnny begins to order for them both before he pauses and asks, “You’re not allergic to anything, right? Because I’m not.” </p><p>“Nope,” Doyoung confirms. </p><p>The waiter gathers the menus, only leaving Doyoung and Johnny alone after reading their order aloud and confirming every item. </p><p>“Where was I?” Johnny resumes, “oh, yeah. Then after we came over to play last Monday evening, the same thing happened but <i>worse</i>.” </p><p>“Did you take him to the doctor’s?” </p><p>“Yeah, I took him to ED because I thought it was some sort of food allergy. Jeno did try something new that night.”</p><p>Johnny launches into a recount about taking his son to the hospital emergency room for the first time and the long anxious wait he had to endure. The doctor concluded that it’s a mild allergy and reinforced that it’d be good for Johnny to keep a close eye on it and report anything unusual to Jeno’s paediatrician. </p><p>“The ED doctor recommended things like washing his hands after playing with a cat, teaching Jeno not to touch his face—especially his eyes and nose—when he’s around a cat, and not staying in the same room with a cat for too long.”</p><p>“Man, that’s a shame,” Doyoung frowns. “He loves the cats and they love him too.” </p><p>“It is,” Johnny agrees sadly.</p><p>“At least it’s a mild allergy, nothing too serious.” </p><p>Doyoung means it because he thinks of Kun’s cat allergies and how it seems to be a lot worse than Jeno’s. Kun has mentioned that he gets some sort of allergy shot regularly but Doyoung presumes that a young child like Jeno might not be able to get it at his age.</p><p>The arrival of their lunch effectively pauses the talking and as they both dig in, the only sound between them is the slurping of noodles. </p><p>“If you don’t mind me asking,” Doyoung begins slowly, his curiosity getting the better of him. Johnny glances up from the last of his udon briefly and nods his head, encouraging Doyoung to continue. He takes a deep breath before he continues, “What happened between you and Jeno’s mother?” </p><p>Doyoung observes Johnny carefully, tracking his every move and the slightest change in expression on his face. He fiddles with the hem of his shirt under the table, away from Johnny’s sight. Doyoung doesn’t know if he has crossed boundaries and trespassed into Johnny’s personal space. After all, they’ve only been friends—neighbours—for a month. </p><p>He presses his palms against his thighs. It does little to remove the thin sheen of sweat coating his skin. Much to Doyoung’s surprise, Johnny eventually responds to his question with a small smile.</p><p>Johnny polishes off the last of his soup and replies, “It’s a long story. I’m not sure if you’d be bored by the end of it.”</p><p>“Well, I’ve got all the time in the world to be around you to listen to it.” Doyoung’s unsure if his reply is too bold but since he has already toed the lines of the boundaries of their relationship, he may as well keep pressing. </p><p>“Maybe not now because your lunch break ends in five minutes,” Johnny teases, glancing at his watch pointedly as if to emphasise his point. </p><p>Doyoung sputters, almost choking on his soup.</p><p>“If you meet me for lunch again this time next Wednesday, I will tell you the full story,” Johnny offers with a knowing grin. </p><p>“It’s a date,” Doyoung blurts out before his dumb brain processes his own words. </p><p>This time, to his delight, Johnny guffaws.</p><p>“It’s a date,” Johnny agrees, his voice filled with certainty.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>Friday at work is uneventful and oddly serene. It’s like the calm before the storm and Doyoung doesn’t know if he’s being overly suspicious, but a seemingly normal, quiet day doesn’t sit well with him. Even with his lousy student removed from his client list, the new Friday students are particularly polite and that itself rings alarm bells in his head.</p><p>After work, he makes a detour to the shop he frequents regularly, the one located a short walk from his apartment. His phone buzzes from where it is tucked in his right pocket as he examines the array of fresh produce on display. He hates the way he perks up at the sight of two new text messages from Johnny. </p><p>The messages are brief and direct, asking Doyoung for a favour. Before he can compose a coherent reply, Johnny calls him. </p><p>“Hey Doyoung, I know you’re probably really busy right now but I need help,” Johnny says, a hint of urgency in his voice.</p><p>“Yeah sure, I just got off work. Is everything alright?” Doyoung asks. He peers at the meticulously stacked pile of tomatoes in front of him and selects a few. </p><p>“I was meant to finish work on time today but we have a pretty big fire to deal with in the central district and they need more back up,” Johnny explains hastily. It’s rather noisy on Johnny’s end and Doyoung can’t even begin to imagine the stress that the team at the fire station must be under. “I don’t know when I’ll be able to finish work and it’s already <i>way</i> past the time I was supposed to pick Jeno up from daycare.” </p><p>At the mention of Jeno, Johnny’s voice shifts to a new level of urgency. Doyoung is aware that in the mere few weeks that he has known Johnny, it is not possible to know his new friend inside out and that there are many sides to Johnny that Doyoung has not seen. But he had never thought that he would see Johnny this anxious and upset. At least, not so early in their friendship. Usually, Johnny is really carefree and laidback, someone who is rather calm and level-headed. </p><p>“I just need you to pick Jeno up and watch over him until I get home. He’s usually quite well-behaved so he won’t cause you any trouble,” Johnny continues. </p><p>Doyoung nods before realising that Johnny can’t see him. “Sure, that’s no problem—”</p><p>“I know you’re probably really exhausted from work right now but I didn’t know who else to ask because his mother is away at the moment and we’re new to the area and—” Johnny cuts off and a muffled noise of frustration resounds through the receiver. </p><p>“Hey, hey. Pause and take a deep breath,” Doyoung replies gently. “Send me the address to Jeno’s daycare and let the staff know what is happening. Leave the rest to me, alright?”</p><p>Johnny hangs up not long after promising to text Doyoung the address. Doyoung glances around the displays around him, wracking his brain for a quick list of things to buy. He’s not really sure what Jeno would like to eat for dinner. Heck, he doesn’t know what a three-year-old can or can’t eat. He has never seen Jeno eat but… surely three-year-olds eat adult food, right? </p><p>He does remember Johnny mentioning that Jeno is very fussy and that he refuses to eat hot food, so whatever Doyoung was planning to cook is thrown out the window. In the end, he buys some carrots and cucumbers because he spots a young mother with a pram buy some. </p><p>Jeno seemed pretty excited about the cookies Doyoung had baked for him back when they first moved in, so worst case, Doyoung will just bake some. Johnny probably won’t be happy that Doyoung’s most likely going to feed his son cookies for dinner but hey, at least eating something is better than nothing. </p><p>Jeno’s daycare is only a few streets away from the shops so Doyoung hurries over, keeping an eye on the time. There’s a childproof gate at the front of the centre—one of those tall gates with a lock at the top usually seen at the pool. When Doyoung enters, two staff members chatting at the front desk ceases talking.</p><p>One of them turns to attend to Doyoung. “We’re about to close for the day but if you have some inquiries about the centre, we can give you some pamphlets.” </p><p>“Ah, no,” Doyoung pants, freeing his right hand to find his phone. He shifts his shopping bags to one arm. </p><p>The other staff member raises her eyebrows, flashing him a skeptical look. </p><p>“I’m here to pick up, uh—” Doyoung pauses, realising that he doesn’t even know Johnny and Jeno’s last names. “Jeno. I’m here to pick up Jeno for his father, Johnny.” </p><p>“And you are…?” the first lady asks. </p><p>“I am Kim Doyoung, their neighbour. I don’t know if Johnny called or texted in advance but he’s held up at work and he is unable to pick Jeno up right now.” </p><p>“Yes, he did mention that someone is on their way to pick Jeno up,” she agrees, sifting through a drawer to find something. She pulls out a sheet of paper, “Do you have an ID on you? Like a driver’s license? I need to confirm your identity first, then I need you to fill this form out.”</p><p>Setting down his bags with a frown, Doyoung plucks his license out of his wallet and hands it to her. She offers him a ballpen and he accepts it with a nod, filling out the form and scribbling down his personal details like full name, address, and contact number.     </p><p>“For legal purposes,” she explains as she cross-checks the details on Doyoung’s license with the form. “We need to make sure that the children at the centre are only being picked up by people their legal guardians recognise and approve of.”</p><p>Doyoung glances around the room, finally taking in his surroundings. He doesn’t really remember the walk here. His mind was set on arriving at Jeno’s daycare centre before they closed for the day and his body was running on a rush of adrenaline. The walls are decorated with children’s paintings and various posters that inform parents about children’s development.</p><p>“This way, Mr Kim. Jeno should be ready to head home with you.” </p><p>She leads Doyoung down a short hallway and as Doyoung trails after her, he peers into the windows of each small room. The walls in every classroom are brightly coloured and an array of toys have been packed away in shelves and containers around the room. Before they make it to the end of the hallway, Jeno appears in the doorway of the last classroom with the other staff member Doyoung had seen earlier. </p><p>“Jeno, it’s time to go home,” the staff explains to Jeno. She helps him put his bag on—the same Paw Patrol one Doyoung had seen Johnny carry last time. While the bag had been ridiculously small on Johnny, it’s almost the same size as Jeno’s small body when he carries it. </p><p>“Uncle Doyoung!” Jeno exclaims, running down the hallway to greet him. Doyoung doesn’t miss the look of relief on the staff’s face at the way Jeno’s face lights up in recognition.</p><p>Doyoung almost stumbles back at the way Jeno crashes into his legs, wrapping his small arms around him and hugging him tightly. </p><p>“Hi,” Jeno greets, peeping up at Doyoung’s face. </p><p>“Hello Jeno,” Doyoung grins down at him, his heartwarming at Jeno’s smile. He ruffles Jeno’s hair the way Johnny always does. Jeno preens and leans into his touch—exactly like how his cats respond when he pets them. </p><p>At the thought of his cats, Doyoung is reminded that Jeno is allergic to cats. He’ll have to figure out some way to keep Jeno and the cats away from each other when they go back to Doyoung’s apartment. He will cross that bridge when he gets there. </p><p>“Daddy is busy today. You can play at my apartment until he comes home,” Doyoung explains. He feels Jeno’s hands loosen as he jumps back in delight at the mention of ‘play’. </p><p>“Play with mama meow?” Jeno asks gleefully.</p><p>“Yes, mama meow,” Doyoung nods, guiding Jeno down the hallway with a hand gently pressed against Jeno’s back.</p><p>“What about baby meow?”</p><p>“Baby meow will be there too.” </p><p>“Let’s hurry. I want to play at Uncle Doyoung’s house,” Jeno decides. He reaches up and slides his small hands into Doyoung’s. </p><p>Doyoung pauses in his steps and blinks down at Jeno. Noticing that Doyoung isn’t holding his hand—probably like the way Johnny always holds his hand—Jeno opts to curl his hand tightly around as many of Doyoung’s fingers as he can manage.</p><p>“Let’s go!” Jeno tugs his fingers in an attempt to drag him along. </p><p>“Okay, okay,” Doyoung follows him. “But let me hold your hand properly so I don’t lose you on the way home!” </p><p>He wraps his hand securely around Jeno’s smaller hand and together, they head back to the front desk. His shopping bags are still on the ground beside the desk and he picks them up with his free hand. Jeno waves goodbye to the staff and promises to come back to play with them again tomorrow. </p><p>“Thank you,” Doyoung bows his head, “if there are any problems, please give me a call.” </p><p>Doyoung releases Jeno’s hand briefly to open the childproof gate. “Can you walk all the way home by yourself?” he asks. </p><p>Jeno nods his head eagerly, “I walk here every day.” He reaches out for Doyoung’s hand as soon as Doyoung shuts the gate. “All by myself.” </p><p>“Alright, let’s go and play with the kitties,” Doyoung says, feeling somewhat relieved that Jeno is safe and okay, and that he won’t have to carry a three-year-old child home with shopping bags in his hands. </p><p>It’s only been five minutes but Doyoung thinks maybe he’s already getting a hang of this child care thing.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>Jeno is an angel.</p><p>He is nothing like the other children that Doyoung has seen in his life. Not only is he well-behaved—exactly like Johnny had promised him—he is also very obedient, following every instruction that Doyoung gives him. </p><p>“Man, if all kids were like this, I actually wouldn’t mind having one too,” Doyoung mumbles to himself when Jeno leaves his shoes by the door without Doyoung telling him to. </p><p>Fortunately, his cats are out of sight so Doyoung is able to escort Jeno to his bedroom—the only cat-free zone in this apartment—and tell him that the cats are sleeping. It’s a rare occasion because usually when he arrives home at this time, his cats are waiting by the front door and meowing angrily at him for missing their usual dinner time. </p><p>“We have to be quiet for now,” Doyoung says and Jeno nods, listening carefully. “They will come out after dinner and you can play with them all you want!” </p><p>“Okay,” Jeno whispers back. “I’ll be very quiet.” </p><p>Doyoung finds a picture book in Jeno’s bag and he pulls it out for him to look at. “Jeno, I need you to sit here for ten minutes. Let me tidy the living room so you can play with the cats later.” </p><p>Jeno pores over the pictures on Doyoung’s bed without protest as Doyoung shuts the door to his room. He rushes around the apartment to search for his cats and is not overly surprised when he finds one of them pawing at the drain in the laundry room and the other in the sink. </p><p>“Alright, what have you found this time,” Doyoung sighs at Rina, hoping that she hasn’t eaten any poisonous insects. “Hana, out. Don’t sit in the sink,” Doyoung shoos at her. She blinks lazily at him from where she is curled up, refusing to budge. Normally, Doyoung would forcefully remove her from the sink but he will let it slip just this once.</p><p>It will be good to keep them entertained in the laundry room before Jeno eats dinner. He returns with two bowls of food for them and Hana startles him with the way she launches herself right out of the sink at the sight of her late dinner.</p><p>“Behave, okay?” Doyoung scratches Rina behind her ears where she likes it. “Stay here until I finish dinner.” </p><p>With the cats out of the way, he does a quick tidy around the living room, mainly vacuuming the carpet and sofa to rid the room of cat fur. Jeno is still occupied with his book when Doyoung returns to his room. </p><p>“Do you want to watch the TV?” Doyoung asks.</p><p>Jeno nods eagerly and slides off Doyoung’s bed. “Do you have paper? I want to draw.” </p><p>Doyoung pulls a small stack of blank paper out of his printer and leaves it on the coffee table for Jeno. “I don’t have any colouring pencils, sorry,” he scratches the back of his head sheepishly. </p><p>“That’s okay! I have crayons,” Jeno scrambles off the sofa to search through his bag. Sure enough, he pulls out a small box of crayons. A few colours are missing and some crayons are broken but Jeno seems content with his drawing equipment. </p><p>“Alright, are you going to be okay drawing for a while? I’m going to make dinner for us,” Doyoung switches the television on and searches for the kids' channel. </p><p>“And then play with kitties?” Jeno asks, his voice hopeful. </p><p>“Yes, and then we can play with the kitties.”</p><p>Doyoung clambers to his feet to boil the kettle for his instant noodles. It’s not the healthiest dinner but Doyoung didn’t exactly have the luxury of taking his time to select the ingredients he needed to make the pasta he was hoping to make. He takes extra care when washing the vegetables he bought earlier. </p><p>It seems a little cruel serving a child a plateful of uncooked vegetables and fruits but Johnny did say that Jeno dislikes hot foods. Besides, it’s way healthier than his instant noodles. He starts slicing the cucumber into small circular discs before he remembers that his cousin usually cuts vegetable snacks into short sticks for her kids. Being the indecisive person he is, Doyoung ends up cutting half of the cucumber into circular discs and the other half into short sticks. He does the same with the carrot just to be consistent. </p><p>He calls Jeno to the kitchen and lifts him so that he can reach the kitchen sink. “Wash your hands before you eat,” Doyoung reminds him, squirting a dollop of hand wash into his hands. </p><p>“This is for you,” Doyoung shows him the plate with carrots, cucumbers, apples, and mandarin slices—he’d peeled the mandarin skin off for Jeno because he wasn’t sure if he knew how to do that himself. “It’s just a snack for now. I’ll call your dad and tell him to bring some food that you like later,” Doyoung explains. His dining table is too high for Jeno to reach so he sets Jeno down in front of the coffee table. </p><p>When Doyoung returns with his cup of instant noodles, he is surprised to find Jeno digging in. He sits across Jeno on the carpeted floor. </p><p>“Does it taste good?” Doyoung asks in awe. He was expecting Jeno to make a fuss about the food but he must really be miraculously great with kids like Johnny had said. </p><p>Jeno shoves a round slice of cucumber into his mouth, “Yummy.” He crunches loudly and wanders over to Doyoung’s side. “What are you eating?” </p><p>“Noodles,” Doyoung explains, omitting the ‘instant’ part. He’s not sure if children should know about unhealthy food like this. Johnny might think he’s a bad influence. </p><p>Doyoung peels the lid off the cup to show Jeno the contents. As Jeno catches a waft of the hot noodles, he stumbles back, a deep frown on his face. </p><p>Judging by Jeno’s expression and reaction, he probably won’t want to be anywhere near the noodles but Doyoung offers anyway, “Would you like to try some?”</p><p>Shaking his head, Jeno backs away. “I don’t like that.” </p><p>“That’s okay,” Doyoung reassures and points to Jeno’s plate, “you can eat this instead.”</p><p>It’s interesting watching Jeno eat. As Doyoung slurps away at his noodles, he begins to notice that Jeno only eats the round slices of vegetables and steers clear of the sticks. He also avoids the apples but cautiously prods at a mandarin slice before trying one. </p><p>Jeno clears about a third of the plate before he announces that he’s done. “No more,” Jeno says, shaking his head at the food. </p><p>“Okay, I’ll leave the plate in the kitchen. Tell me if you want more later.” </p><p>Jeno trails after him, following Doyoung all the way to the kitchen. He watches Doyoung wash up the dishes in the sink from last night and only asks when Doyoung is done, “Can I play now? With the kitties.” </p><p>“Of course!” Doyoung says, almost keeling at how polite this child is. “Let’s wash our hands first.” </p><p>He reminds Jeno to keep his face away from the cats and to not touch his eyes or nose when he’s playing with them. Jeno plays with them for about ten minutes before he starts dozing off. Doyoung picks him up before he face plants right into Rina’s body. </p><p>“You look very tired,” he comments, carrying Jeno to his bedroom. Rina follows him but stays outside Doyoung’s room without him asking her to. Both of his cats know that his bedroom is out of bounds by now. </p><p>“Sleepy,” Jeno mumbles.</p><p>“Can you wash your hands first?” Doyoung asks. He wants to be extra careful and do everything he can to reduce the chance of Jeno’s allergy flaring up. The last thing he wants to do is for Johnny, who is already very stressed, to come home to Jeno feeling unwell. </p><p>“No!” Jeno whines in protest. “Sleepy!” He buries his face into Doyoung’s neck and clings onto him, refusing to be put down onto the bed. </p><p>“Oh god,” Doyoung mumbles to himself, praying that a tantrum isn’t coming his way. “Okay, can I put you down? You can sleep in my bed.” Jeno doesn’t budge. “Look, it’s soft and comfortable. Lie down on my bed.” </p><p>Jeno doesn’t respond so Doyoung lays down on the bed with him until he falls asleep and his grip loosens. Carefully sliding out of bed, Doyoung makes a beeline for the bathroom. He remembers that there’s a packet of wet tissues stashed somewhere under the sink and they should be good enough for cleaning Jeno’s hands. </p><p>He uses a lint roller and removes any visible cat fur on Jeno’s clothes for good measure. When he exits his bedroom, he finds his phone vibrating on the kitchen counter. Johnny’s calling.</p><p>“Hello?” </p><p>“Hey,” Johnny says, “how’s everything going?” He sounds significantly calmer than earlier in the evening. </p><p>“Good, Jeno ate something small for dinner. He’s asleep now.” Doyoung leans against the counter with his phone pressed against his ear. </p><p>Johnny audibly sighs into the phone, “Thank you so much. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you enough.”</p><p>“Not a problem,” Doyoung replies, “your son is so well-behaved, I didn’t have to do anything.” </p><p>Johnny chuckles into his phone, “He’s lovely, isn’t he? You’re lucky you weren’t babysitting his twin brother. He’s a nightmare compared to Jeno.” </p><p>Nearly launching himself off the counter, Doyoung exclaims, “Jeno has a twin?” </p><p>“He does,” Johnny confirms, sounding rather amused. “Did I not mention that before?”</p><p>“Nope.” </p><p>“I can tell you all about him next time we have lunch—my treat. I’m about to drive home now, I’ll be back in the next twenty minutes. The traffic shouldn’t be too bad at this hour.” </p><p>“Take your time,” Doyoung says, “go home for a hot shower and eat something before coming over.” Johnny must feel really gross and tired right now. Doyoung knows for sure that he would feel that way if he had to work such long hours, let alone do something so risky like fighting fires. </p><p>But Johnny remains silent and Doyoung can sense that he is hesitant to agree to Doyoung’s suggestion.</p><p>“Please,” Doyoung urges. “Jeno’s asleep and safe at my place. You need to take care of yourself first before you have the energy to care for him.” </p><p>At the mention of Jeno, Johnny succumbs and very reluctantly says, “Alright. I’ll text you before I come over.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>Despite the fact that he had a long, hot shower and changed into comfortable clothing, Johnny still looks terrible when he shows up at Doyoung’s door. He’s exhausted to the bone and Doyoung’s afraid that Johnny might fall asleep the second he sits down on his sofa.</p><p>Hana hops onto the sofa and pads around, exploring the remaining space around her before settling beside Johnny. </p><p>“You hungry?” Doyoung remains standing in front of Johnny, his hands perched on his hips. Johnny shakes his head. “Tea or coffee?” Doyoung offers instead. </p><p>“Tea,” Johnny mumbles. </p><p>Once the kettle is on, Doyoung wanders back to the living room and seats himself beside Johnny. Hana peers at him for a second then shifts to curl up in Doyoung’s lap. He strokes Hana’s fur for a while before he summons the courage to ask.</p><p>“How did it go?” </p><p>“Good,” Johnny sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. “We put out the fire and there were no casualties. There was a lot of damage to the buildings—it was a factory of sorts—but fortunately, most people had left the building to go home after their shift. There were a few workers still inside the building when the fire started but they responded very quickly to the fire alarms.”   </p><p>No casualties, Doyoung thinks, letting out a sigh of relief. “I’m very glad to hear that.” Then he adds quietly, “I’m very glad you’re okay.” He turns his head and catches Johnny’s eyes right as they open again. </p><p>Johnny looks so, so tired and Doyoung desperately wishes he can hug him—to hug away all the worries and exhaustion. </p><p>“Thank you,” Johnny whispers back.</p><p>“I wish you didn’t have to go through all this trouble to help me take care of Jeno. That’s my responsibility.” Then, Johnny lowers his voice and Doyoung barely makes out what he says but he thinks he hears Johnny say, “I have failed my duties.” </p><p>They sit there in silence, staring at each other. A few minutes, maybe three or four, pass before they hear the tell-tale click of Doyoung’s electric kettle. Doyoung plops Hana onto Johnny’s lap and pushes himself off the sofa, excusing himself to make tea. </p><p>He’s pleased to find Johnny stroke Hana’s fur when he returns with two mugs of steaming green tea. </p><p>“It’s therapeutic, isn’t it? Her fur is so soft,” Doyoung says, offering one of the mugs to Johnny. “Careful, it’s hot.” </p><p>This time, Doyoung opts to sit on the floor beside the sofa. He sips at his tea and watches as Johnny continues to stroke Hana’s fur. Johnny’s the one who breaks the silence this time, leaning forward to set down his mug.</p><p>“I’m a bad father, aren’t I?” Johnny asks aloud, but something tells Doyoung that the question is rhetorical. Although Johnny is a good five centimetres taller than Doyoung, he looks so small right there and then, curled up against the arm of Doyoung’s sofa with Hana in his lap.  </p><p>Doyoung replies anyway. </p><p>“No, I don’t think so,” he comments honestly. </p><p>Doyoung doesn’t have much knowledge about raising young children but even from his inexperienced eyes, he can see that Johnny is doing a decent job. Especially if Jeno is the way he is, polite and a pleasure to be around. </p><p>Johnny raises his head slightly to glance towards Doyoung then buries his face into the crook of his arms. It is only after a moment of silence that Doyoung finally realises—Johnny doesn’t believe him.</p><p>“Being honest with yourself about your limitations, and asking for help from people around you when you need to doesn’t make you a bad person or father. If you had left Jeno at daycare without contacting anyone despite knowing that you’d work overtime, that would be an example of not being a responsible parent.” </p><p>This time, Johnny doesn’t move. He doesn’t reveal whether or not he has heard or understood Doyoung’s words. So Doyoung creeps forward to kneel by his feet. </p><p>“You can’t do everything by yourself, Johnny,” Doyoung continues in a quieter voice, leaning forward to lay a hand on Johnny’s shoulder, “and that’s okay. It’s okay to not be able to do everything. You’re only human after all.”</p><p>It isn’t long before Johnny’s body quivers under his palm and Johnny begins to cry. With every sob, Doyoung feels his heart ache even more. </p><p>It’s weird because Doyoung doesn’t even like children and is far from being a parent—that is, if he ever becomes one. Yet, he understands why Johnny is upset, why he is crying, and that he is probably berating himself internally. There’s something about the way Johnny has responded to tonight’s events that reminds Doyoung of his old self. </p><p>“Sometimes I just feel that I can’t give him the best growing environment that he deserves,” Johnny admits, sinking back into the sofa dejectedly. “I wish I could spend more time with him but I need money to raise him. So I have to choose between the two of them: make money for a living or spend quality time with my son.” </p><p>“He loves you, Johnny,” Doyoung says softly. “The way his whole face, his whole <i>world</i> just lights up when he sees you. You’re trying your best and Jeno loves you for that. You’re his hero.”</p><p>“Really?” Johnny questions, his eyes red and his voice doubtful. </p><p>Doyoung knows that Johnny may not believe him now, no matter how hard he tries to console him with his words. Johnny is physically and mentally exhausted after such a draining day and rest is what he needs most right now. </p><p>Johnny raises his head again and as their eyes meet, Doyoung watches the tears fall from Johnny’s eyes. It stirs the determination within him and Doyoung decides there and then that he wants to help Johnny. </p><p>He wants to be there for him when he needs a helping hand.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>Doyoung doesn’t see Johnny the next day but they speak briefly on the phone.</p><p>It’s Saturday afternoon and Doyoung’s at a cafe with Yuta. At around half-past eleven, Yuta had texted Doyoung, asking if he was free and offered to treat him to lunch. Doyoung’s not one to turn down free food so he agreed to Yuta’s invitation and half an hour later, Doyoung found himself at Yuta’s doorstep. </p><p>Doyoung is in the middle of recounting his evening with Jeno when Yuta cuts him off.</p><p>“I thought you hate kids?” Yuta raises an eyebrow as he leans forward to take a sip of his iced coffee.</p><p>“I don’t hate them,” Doyoung denies, “I’m just not comfortable around them. Their little minds are just in another universe and I don’t understand them.” </p><p>“Exactly, you don’t want to deal with them. This kid must be really special if you had a nice time babysitting him.” </p><p>Doyoung digs his fork into the slice of black forest cake that they had ordered to share. Now that Yuta has pointed it out, Jeno <i>is</i> kind of special. During the few hours that they spent together, Doyoung actually felt comfortable being around a young child by himself and even though Johnny didn’t have time to give him instructions on how to take care of his son, Jeno made it all so easy. </p><p>“Yeah, he’s an angel. I hope you can meet him sometime,” Doyoung swallows his mouthful of cake. “His dad recently found out that he has a cat allergy but apparently he’s still very adamant about seeing my cats. Hana and Rina love him too.”</p><p>“Ah-ha!” Yuta all but shouts. “It’s the cats. You like this child because your cats have approved of him.” </p><p>“Don’t be silly,” Doyoung rolls his eyes. His phone screen lights up before his ringtone starts chiming. Setting his fork aside, Doyoung lifts his phone, “Sorry, I need to take this call.”</p><p>Yuta waves him off with a shrug, “Go for it.” </p><p>Doyoung only swipes his thumb across his phone screen when he is nearly out of the cafe. “Hey, how’s it going?”</p><p>“Hey! I’m doing well today. You?” Johnny replies. </p><p>“I’m okay today,” Doyoung smiles, nudging the glass door of the cafe open and stepping outside. “I’m out with a friend right now. He paid for my lunch so I’m treating him to afternoon tea.”</p><p>“Is this a bad time to call?” </p><p>“Nah.” </p><p>It’s a little cool today, with the sun hiding behind endless clouds and the wind blowing harsher than usual. He regrets leaving the cafe without his jacket.</p><p>“Ah, I won’t keep you for long then,” Johnny reassures. “I just wanted to thank you again for taking care of Jeno yesterday.” </p><p>“Like I said last night, it’s not a problem. I’m happy to help.”</p><p>“I was thinking…” Johnny begins. </p><p>A group of university students exit the cafe from behind Doyoung, chattering loudly. Doyoung presses his phone closer to his left ear and blocks his right with his finger, listening hard. He swears he can hear the faint sound of Jeno playing in the background.</p><p>“Are you free tomorrow? I would like to thank you properly.” </p><p>“You don’t have to,” Doyoung insists, kicking a stray rock on the footpath. “I thought we agreed on you paying for lunch on Wednesday.” </p><p>“I’m offering not one, but <i>two</i> free meals,” Johnny teases, “you sure you want to turn me down?” </p><p>Through the shop window, Doyoung spots Yuta scrolling through his phone. “You know I can’t resist free food! Don’t make me feel bad,” Doyoung replies with a groan. </p><p>“Don’t,” Johnny muses. “Don’t feel bad. Let me thank you properly.” </p><p>Not wanting to keep Yuta waiting for too long, Doyoung succumbs and agrees to meet Johnny tomorrow. </p><p>“Great, I’ll see you at eleven tomorrow. I’ll drive,” Johnny says cheerily. At least Johnny’s sounding a lot better than he was last night. A good night’s sleep can do wonders. </p><p>When Doyoung returns to his seat in the cafe, Yuta comments with a grin, “You look awfully happy. Who was that on the phone?” </p><p>“The kid’s dad. He insisted on thanking me properly so now we’re going out tomorrow.” </p><p>Yuta wiggles his eyebrows, “Oh, like a date?”</p><p>Kicking Yuta in the shin under the table, Doyoung grunts, “No, it’s a family-friendly outing. We’re just meeting for lunch.” </p><p>Yuta squawks indignantly and withdraws his outstretched legs. He takes a large sip of his iced coffee before his face spreads into the widest grin. “I want to hear all about it next time,” he says, dragging out the sounds in ‘all’.</p><p>Doyoung shakes his head in disbelief, “We’ll see.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>Doyoung expects Jeno to join them on their outing since Johnny mentioned something about Jeno’s mother being away on Friday night. When Johnny pulls up in front of their apartment in his white corolla, what Doyoung doesn’t expect is the presence of a second child.</p><p>He does a double-take and edges closer to Johnny’s car to squint through the lightly tinted window. Johnny definitely has two baby seats in the back and the child sitting closer to Doyoung looks nothing like Jeno. Fraternal twins?</p><p>Johnny winds down the window Doyoung is looking through and Doyoung catches a good look of the child. </p><p>“Is that?” Doyoung sputters, looking up to stare at Johnny, “Who—?” </p><p>“This is Donghyuck. Meet the other twin,” Johnny replies, clearly amused. </p><p>Doyoung tilts his head and spots Jeno beside the other child, seated right behind Johnny, who is in the driver’s seat. He wonders if Johnny roped him in this outing so that he can have a helping hand with babysitting two children.</p><p>“Of course not,” Johnny says and Doyoung reels back, mildly embarrassed. He didn’t realise that he had voiced his thoughts aloud. “I wouldn’t do that to you! You’re invited today because I want to thank you, remember?” Johnny beckons to Doyoung, urging him to hop in the car. </p><p>“This is not what I had in mind,” Doyoung says, climbing into the passenger seat. He tugs on the seat belt and secures it. “But I’ll take what I can get.” </p><p>“It’ll be fun,” Johnny flashes him a wide grin. Then, raising his voice, he turns to the kids in the backseat, “Everyone, say hello to Uncle Doyoung.” </p><p>Doyoung mirrors Johnny’s actions and turns to wave at Jeno and his twin. “Hi.” </p><p>“Hi!” Donghyuck yells and Jeno joins him. </p><p>“Very enthusiastic, I love it!” Johnny swivels back to face the road. </p><p>“Why are their baby seats strapped backwards?” Doyoung asks out of curiosity as Johnny turns the car around the corner. He didn’t notice it at first—too shocked by Donghyuck’s appearance to register it—but both baby seats are secured so that the children are sitting with their backs to the front of the car. “They can’t see the front of the car that way?” </p><p>“I don’t know, Mr Driving Instructor,” Johnny replies, stopping the car at a red light, “I thought you were the car expert?” </p><p>Doyoung sniffs indignantly, “I teach people how to drive, not this stuff.”</p><p>Johnny laughs at this, only replying when they’re at the next traffic light. “It’s apparently safer to position young children like that, in comparison to facing them in the direction that the car’s travelling.” The kids are chattering excitedly in the backseat and Doyoung peeks over his shoulder to see Jeno passing his superhero figurine to Donghyuck. “I’m not too sure about the specifics as to why, but their mother reinforced it when I took over Jeno’s care.” </p><p>They end up at a restaurant near the fringe of the city, about thirty minutes drive away from their apartment. Johnny explains that the kids love eating at this restaurant because there’s a large play centre designated for kids next door. </p><p>“Reservation for four under Mr Seo’s name?” the restaurant staff asks when Johnny approaches the counter at the front. </p><p>“Yes,” Johnny confirms. “I need two children’s seats for my table.”</p><p>“Yes, we’ve noted that down under your reservation. Please come this way.” </p><p>Johnny leads as they follow the staff, holding Jeno’s hand with his left and Donghyuck’s hand with his right. Doyoung trails after them, noting that the restaurant is packed to the brim with families. The restaurant appears rather family-friendly, making many accommodations for families with young children. </p><p>It’s not the sort of place Doyoung would eat at but it’s an interesting change of scenery. </p><p>“Isn’t your last name Lee?” Doyoung finally asks when they settle down. The question has been burning at the forefront of his mind since the staff called Johnny ‘Mr Seo’. </p><p>“Nope,” Johnny glances up at Doyoung. He picks up Jeno and helps him settle into his seat. “What made you think that?” </p><p>Confused, Doyoung replies, “Oh, I just thought—I saw that Jeno’s last name is Lee when I filled out paperwork at the daycare yesterday. You know, for them to formally grant me permission to take him home.” Realising that it’s Sunday, Doyoung corrects himself, “I meant when I picked him up on <i>Friday</i>.” </p><p>Johnny makes a noise of understanding at the back of his throat as he places Donghyuck into his seat. “Sunyoung’s last name is Lee. Jeno and Donghyuck’s mother,” Johnny explains, finally sitting down in his seat. He rummages through his canvas bag and pulls out the children’s toys. </p><p>“Uh-uh,” Johnny pulls the toys back when Donghyuck reaches out for them. “Listen first. You can play, but when the food comes, what do we need to do?”</p><p>“Pack away!” Donghyuck leans forward, as far as his seat allows him, in an attempt to grab his toys.</p><p>“Good, you heard that Jeno?” Johnny asks, toys still out of reach. </p><p>“Yes, pack away,” Jeno mirrors his brother and leans forward for the toys. </p><p>Satisfied with their responses, Johnny surrenders the toys. They look through the menu and Johnny makes recommendations for Doyoung, pointing out his favourite dishes. They order drinks first, as the waiter mentioned that the food might take a while to come. It’s rush hour so they’re very busy. Once they’ve placed their order for lunch, Johnny continues.</p><p>“Sunyoung and I actually parted ways before she had the twins so when they were born, they both took on her last name.”</p><p>“Ah, I see,” Doyoung nods, taking a sip of his iced tea. This conversation feels a little out of bounds—too personal—but Johnny appears rather comfortable as he shares this with Doyoung. </p><p>“It’s a—”</p><p>“Long story?” Doyoung finishes for Johnny. </p><p>Johnny blinks, a look of surprise adorning his face, “Yeah.” </p><p>“We’ve got time today,” Doyoung smiles, “I’m all ears if you’re willing to share.”  </p><p>Agreeing with Doyoung, Johnny reciprocates the smile, “Sure.” </p><p>A part of Doyoung is glad that Johnny is open with his past because he’s curious to hear more; he wants to learn more about Johnny. Doyoung feels like he’s living in a completely different world to Johnny, despite the fact that Johnny is only one year older than him. </p><p>Doyoung remains quiet as Johnny opens up, listening attentively to every word, clinging onto every detail. Johnny shares about meeting Sunyoung through mutual friends towards the end of high school and how the two of them only grew closer when they found out that they were both attending the same university. Johnny wasn’t interested in dating at first but Sunyoung asked him out during the summer after their first year at university and their relationship blossomed and flourished from there. </p><p>“We talked about getting married after university but when we reached the third year of our relationship, things didn’t turn out the way we envisioned together. I studied Business Management in university but my interest shifted and I became drawn to working as a firefighter,” Johnny unfolds the square serviette in his hands and flattens it on the table. “My uncle was a firefighter and I think struggling through my studies made me realise that maybe running a business isn’t my thing.” </p><p>Doyoung nods, reflecting on his own experiences studying at university. It was during that time that Doyoung learned how daunting growing up could be and how confronting it was when your original vision of your future shattered and changed. </p><p>“Sunyoung wanted to be a newspaper editor but her dreams changed too—it grew and she wanted to become a news reporter,” Johnny ducks his head, fiddling with the serviette like it is origami paper. “Our lives were just heading in very different directions to the one that we started off with together. She wanted more, to run after bigger dreams, but I wanted to settle. I was tired of moving so we talked about separating and going our own ways.</p><p>“And we did. We went down different paths, lost contact for about two years before she contacted me and told me that she had twins. She found out that she was pregnant not long after she left but despite her mother’s pleading, she wanted to raise the kids herself. She endured a lot and only reached out for my support when she was really struggling.”</p><p>Johnny pulls out his phone and shows Doyoung a photo of himself with a beautiful young woman curled up by his side. Jeno looks an awful lot like his mother and Doyoung wonders if Johnny sees her in Jeno. Doyoung peers at Donghyuck, noting both Johnny and Sunyoung’s features on his face. </p><p>“Getting back together wasn’t an option. We wanted what was best for both kids but it just wasn’t feasible taking care of two young children at a time. So we decided to take one child each. Donghyuck was very clingy and afraid of being separated from her so Jeno came with me instead. Jeno warmed up to me quite quickly—in fact, he has very little understanding of stranger danger so <i>that</i> scares me at times.”</p><p>Doyoung did notice that Jeno warmed up to him rather fast when they first met. </p><p>“Do you get to spend time with Donghyuck often?” Doyoung asks.</p><p>“About once a month?” Johnny replies instantly, “Sunyoung’s mother lives near her, so she’s able to manage the twins for a short period of time—at least better than I can. Jeno usually goes over to visit her on the weekends. Then there are weeks like this, where I get both of them to myself.” He waves a vague hand in the children’s direction, a soft smile on his face. </p><p>“Donghyuck isn't as bad as you made him sound,” Doyoung comments, flashing Donghyuck a small smile when he turns curiously at the sound of his name. </p><p>“Oh, just wait. He’s on his best behaviour right now because I pep talked him this morning but when he warms up to you…” Johnny trails off. “Let’s just say he can get very excited.”  </p><p>When their food arrives, Doyoung notices that the waiter serves Donghyuck a small bowl of food—one of those kid-sized meals—but they skip Jeno. </p><p>“What about Jeno?” Doyoung directs the question to Johnny but follows the waiter with his eyes as they retreat into the kitchen. </p><p>Johnny gestures to the spare plate that the waiter had brought, “I’m going to offer him some of my food but if he doesn’t like it, I’ve got a sandwich packed in my bag for him.” </p><p>“Ah… Is he really that fussy?” </p><p>“Fussy is an understatement with this little munchkin,” Johnny smiles, shaking his head. He picks through his plate of food with his fork and searches for something that Jeno might like to eat. “Jeno doesn’t have your typical picky eating habits. I’ve been seeing a food therapist with him—every Wednesday morning actually, that’s why my shift starts later on Wednesdays.”</p><p>“Wow, a food therapist?” </p><p>Doyoung had an inkling that Jeno’s problem with food was a little different from what he’s heard about, stories like kids hating their vegetables, but he had no idea that it was this much of a challenge for Johnny. </p><p>“Yeah, the lady we see is some sort of paediatric feeding specialist. I’m not sure if it’s a profession by itself or if it falls under another profession but she’s magical. All these strategies she’s been suggesting—they work like wonder!” </p><p>Johnny turns his plate towards Jeno and allows him to examine the contents. “Hey, do you mind helping me with Donghyuck? Just cut the meat into smaller pieces and hand him the utensils and he will eat by himself.” </p><p>“O-okay,” Doyoung fumbles to set down his own cutlery.</p><p>“Jeno darling, do you want chicken?” Johnny asks gently. He shows Jeno a small piece of chicken breast, placing it close enough for Jeno to see and reach. </p><p>Doyoung turns around to see Donghyuck peering up at him, his large eyes unblinking and curious. “Do you live with daddy?” </p><p>“No,” Doyoung replies hastily, pushing a spoon into Donghyuck’s hand to keep him occupied. It’s one of those modified plastic spoons with a stubbier handle for children to hold onto. He spots Johnny snickering into his hand in his periphery. </p><p>“Where do you live then?” Donghyuck asks, persistent. There’s a repetitive clacking sound and Doyoung pokes his head over the edge of the table to see Donghyuck kicking his feet against his chair. </p><p>“I live next door,” Doyoung explains with as much patience as he can muster. Why do kids have to ask such questions? He uses his own utensils to cut up Donghyuck’s chicken into smaller pieces. </p><p>Donghyuck drops his spoon with a clatter. “Jeno said you have cats. Can I see them?” </p><p>“Maybe. If you stop kicking your chair,” Doyoung hums, pushing the bowl back towards Donghyuck. He places the spoon back into Donghyuck’s small hand. “And you need to ask your dad.” </p><p>“Daddy said I can,” Donghyuck clumsily scoops a piece of chicken and shoves the whole spoon into his mouth. When he removes the spoon, he mumbles, “Daddy said I need to ask.” </p><p>Raising an eyebrow, Doyoung examines Donghyuck’s face, slightly skeptical. Donghyuck’s contrasting statements make him wonder if Johnny has actually permitted Donghyuck to visit Doyoung and his cats. There’s no way for him to tell because Donghyuck doesn’t tell him anything else, engrossed by the bowl of food in front of him. Unlike Jeno, Donghyuck stuffs his face with the food, beaming brightly as he munches on. He will have to check with Johnny later. </p><p>Doyoung’s stomach growls at the sight and he digs in as well. He ordered curry rice—Johnny’s recommendation. True to Johnny’s words, the curry rice is delicious and Doyoung has to hold himself back from inhaling his whole meal.</p><p>“Mummy said—” Donghyuck swallows his food. “Cats make Jeno sick.”  </p><p>“They do make Jeno sick,” Johnny agrees. “They might make you sick as well so we have to be careful.” </p><p>“Donghyuck! You gotta play with mama meow,” Jeno pipes up, smacking one of his sandwich squares with his palm.</p><p>It appears that Jeno wasn’t particularly interested in most of the food on Johnny’s plate. There are two small bits of chicken breast on his plate beside the sandwich that Johnny had brought from home. The crust had been cut off and the sandwich was cut into four equal squares. </p><p>Jeno plucks the flattened square from his plate and nibbles on it. </p><p>“I forgot to mention, I gave him raw carrots and cucumbers for dinner the other night…” Doyoung says, hesitant. “Is that alright? I wasn’t sure what Jeno liked to eat.” </p><p>Johnny polishes off the remaining food on his plate before replying. “Yeah, that’s fine! He usually has carrots. Cucumbers, not so much but he’s had that before.” </p><p>“Oh, thank goodness. I thought I’d have to bake him cookies or something to make sure he ate something that night but he seemed quite happy munching on those. And mandarins! He had a few slices but he wouldn’t touch the apples.”</p><p>Johnny nods, “He doesn’t like apples if the skin is not peeled off. He also prefers green apples over red ones—he likes the sour taste.” He reaches over the table to wipe Donghyuck’s mouth. “Jeno’s got a sensory-based feeding problem and we’ve found a few patterns in what he will and won’t eat.” </p><p>Doyoung thinks of the carrot and cucumber sticks that Jeno avoided like a plague. “Does the shape of the food affect whether or not he eats it?” </p><p>“Yeah, it does! You noticed?” </p><p>“I cut some of the carrots and cucumbers into round disc-shaped slices and the others into sticks and he only ate the round ones,” Doyoung relays his observation. He wonders if that’s why Johnny cut Jeno’s sandwich into squares. </p><p>“You’re very observant,” Johnny praises. “The therapist said shapes aren't really tied in with the sensory issues Jeno has. It’s more like a special quirk? Jeno has become a bit aversive to trying new foods so sometimes we introduce foods that he’s currently not eating in different shapes to see if we can entice him to try them.”</p><p>“What do you mean by sensory?” </p><p>“So you know how we have our five senses? The way I understand it is that he is particularly sensitive when it comes to food,” Johnny explains to Doyoung, though his eyes are subtly on Jeno, watching him carefully as he eats. “For example, the temperature of the food—he doesn’t like hot food, not even warm—or the texture of the food. Anything too soft or mushy, he won’t touch it or let it anywhere near his mouth at all.”</p><p>“God, that’s so interesting. No wait, I mean—” Doyoung stammers, “I know it’s a challenge for you to manage but I never thought that much about food beyond its taste.” </p><p>The laugh that escapes Johnny sounds rather nice. It’s contagious and Doyoung finds himself laughing with Johnny. </p><p>“You’re absolutely right,” Johnny says once his laughter dies down. “I never thought about food in this detail until Jeno presented with this feeding difficulty.”</p><p>“Finished!” Donghyuck shouts, waving his spoon in the air. </p><p>“Good job, champion,” Johnny reaches over to ruffle Donghyuck’s hair. “Oh look, Jeno’s almost done too! We’ve got <i>two</i> champions!” </p><p>“I want to play!” Donghyuck whines, “Is it playroom time?” </p><p>“You have to wait quietly for Jeno,” Johnny says in a firmer voice. “We—” </p><p>He doesn’t get to finish his sentence though, as Jeno promptly spits out the contents in his mouth onto his plate. Johnny covers up the mushed up remains of his last bite of the sandwich with a tissue. </p><p>“No more,” Jeno insists, clamping his mouth shut. </p><p>“You did well,” Johnny ruffles his hair too. “Look! You finished a sandwich all by yourself. High five, champion.” He raises his palm out for Jeno to reach and Jeno practically glows at the praise. </p><p>Johnny pays the bill for lunch and with Doyoung’s help, they herd the boys out and migrate to the playroom next door. As Doyoung enters the centre, he understands instantly why the boys love it there. </p><p>“Damn, if I had this when I was younger, I’d go crazy too,” Doyoung gaps, completely in awe of the ball pit that’s the size of a kid’s swimming pool and the giant slides that loop around the rooms. </p><p>“Right? Kids these days have it all,” Johnny chuckles. </p><p>“I’m jealous, I only had small slides at the park when I was their age,” Doyoung pushes his lips together and pretends to sulk. </p><p>The playrooms are supervised so Johnny and Doyoung are relieved of babysitting duties for an hour or so. They sit at the cafe inside the centre, designated for parents who want some time off for themselves while their kids play inside. </p><p>“Jeno did really well today at lunch. Donghyuck can be a good influence during mealtimes but I have to be very careful,” Johnny explains as they wait in line to order coffee and dessert. </p><p>“Careful in what way?”</p><p>“Mm, like, Jeno is more motivated to join us and eat when Donghyuck is around but the moment he notices that Donghyuck has finished eating, he will stop and refuse to finish the rest of his food. Stuff like that. I have to mind what I say and how I act.” </p><p>Johnny orders an americano for himself, a caramel macchiato for Doyoung, and three chocolate chip cookies to share. He jokes that the cookies are terrible compared to the ones Doyoung baked for him and Doyoung promises him more cookies. </p><p>“You’re a wiz with kids, you know that?” Johnny smiles around the rim of his coffee cup.</p><p>A nervous laugh escapes Doyoung. “Really?” he replies, painfully aware of how uncertain he sounds. </p><p>For once, Doyoung doesn’t want to appear confident. Although the compliment boosts his ego, Doyoung thinks that he knows next to nothing about children and that his minimal experience with them will show through at some point. </p><p>He got lucky, somehow. Donghyuck has been quite well-behaved and Jeno’s a little Angel—like his father. They’re a delight to be around. Especially Jeno. He’s just easy to please, excite, and work with, and Johnny is giving him way too much credit for something he doesn’t deserve to be praised for. At least not yet. </p><p>Towards the end of his outing with Johnny and his twins, he finally understands why Johnny had joked about Donghyuck being a challenge to take care of. Having missed his afternoon nap, Donghyuck becomes exhausted out of his mind after playing at the play centre for an hour and has a meltdown in the car park. </p><p>Despite his loud cries and whining about wanting to go home, Donghyuck anchors himself to the ground and refuses to budge when Johnny urges him to get in the car. Johnny waits patiently for Donghyuck to calm down before picking him up from where he is sprawled on the ground and strapping him into the car seat. </p><p>By the time Johnny starts the car and exits the car park, Donghyuck is asleep. Jeno is quiet on the way home too—Doyoung later finds out that Jeno had fallen asleep as well. </p><p>“Sorry, they need their naps,” Johnny apologises sheepishly. “Even Jeno gets a bit moody when he misses his afternoon nap.”</p><p>Doyoung chuckles into his hand, “It’s okay, I understand.” </p><p>He can relate—with work being stressful at times, there were times where he wished that he could just shut everyone out and have an afternoon nap after his lunch break. Except it’s not as socially acceptable for adults to cry and have a breakdown over something like a nap (but Doyoung would be lying if he said that he’s never considered doing that). </p><p>Doyoung dozes off a little and before he knows it, they’re turning around the corner and driving down the street that they live on. </p><p>“Thanks for coming out with me today,” Johnny says sincerely as he turns into their apartment’s underground car park. “I hope you had as much fun as I did.”</p><p>“Of course,” Doyoung grins, still feeling a little sleepy. “It was really nice meeting Donghyuck and spending time with you. Thanks for inviting me.”</p><p>When Johnny unbuckles Jeno from his seat, he lets out a whine. “Shhh, hey. It’s okay, we’re home now.” Jeno whines again, burying his face into Johnny’s shoulder</p><p>“Hey, I need to get Donghyuck out of the car as well, do you mind giving me a hand?” Johnny glances at Doyoung over his shoulder. </p><p>“Sure,” Doyoung agrees, unsure whether he’ll actually be of any help. </p><p>He’s mulling over how to unbuckle Donghyuck from his baby seat when Johnny turns to pass Jeno to him. Doyoung blinks, slowly opening his arms. </p><p>“I don’t know how to hold him...” Doyoung admits in a small voice. </p><p>“It’s easy, don’t worry,” Johnny reassures, inching closer. “Use one arm to support his bottom like this.”</p><p>It’s hard to concentrate on holding Jeno when Johnny’s leaning in so close with such a gentle smile on his face. Johnny carefully transfers Jeno into Doyoung’s arms. Doyoung barely has to do anything because Jeno naturally loops his arms around his neck and wraps his legs around Doyoung’s side. </p><p>“See? Easy,” Johnny beams. “You’re a natural.”</p><p>Doyoung blushes hard at the praise but luckily, Johnny doesn’t notice because he’s walking to the other side of the car to get Donghyuck out of his seat. </p><p>Jeno stirs in his arms. “Uncle Doyoung?” he mumbles sleepily. </p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Can I play with baby meow?”</p><p>Doyoung laughs endearingly. “They’re probably sleeping right now—like you,” he says, brushing Jeno’s hair out of his face. “Maybe when you wake up.”</p><p>Jeno makes an unintelligible noise then smooshes his face against Doyoung’s chest. Warmth spreads across Doyoung’s chest and his heart fills—overflows—with a feeling that he cannot pinpoint. </p><p>It isn’t until Doyoung has helped tuck Jeno into his bed that he realises that what he felt for Jeno was more than mere adoration towards his neighbour’s son. Maybe, a small voice at the back of his mind says, it’s love.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>Wednesday lunch ‘dates’ become a consistent part of Doyoung’s weekly routine.</p><p>By the fifth time Doyoung meets Johnny for lunch, his manager has granted him permission to have an hour-long lunch break every Wednesday—provided that Doyoung makes up for the extra fifteen minutes sometime during the week. </p><p>What started out as taking turns to pay for lunch became light-hearted fights at the end of each meal over who gets to pay. It’s all Johnny’s fault, Doyoung thinks to himself on his way to yet another Wednesday lunch with Johnny. Their prior arrangement was ruined because Johnny had insisted on paying for Doyoung as his way of paying back and saying thank you for taking care of Jeno, but once became twice then thrice. </p><p>At least they still have civil conversations about where to eat next and actually take turns picking a place.  </p><p>“I’m in contact with my mother sometimes but honestly, we don’t talk all that much anymore,” Doyoung admits halfway through lunch with Johnny. </p><p>“Do you feel comfortable sharing with me why?” Johnny asks gently. </p><p>“The distance between us grew when my parents separated. I was young back then—almost at the end of high school—and because I was underage, I had to move away when my mother did,” Doyoung explains, picking out the cucumbers in his dish. “Leaving behind my friends, my main support network and having to start fresh… I resented them for taking my life away from me at the time.” </p><p>Doyoung pauses, having lost his train of thoughts for a brief moment.</p><p>“It doesn’t matter much now though, I’m still friends with my old high school friends,” he continues eventually, thinking of Yuta and Taeyong. “Moving away helped me figure out who was really part of my support network. But I guess the gap between my mother and I just grew wider and wider and never recovered.”</p><p>He glances up and notices that Johnny has stopped eating. He’s listening so intently it makes Doyoung feel heard, like the story of his past is important. </p><p>“Are you still in contact with your dad?”</p><p>Doyoung shakes his head. “I haven’t spoken to him since my parents got divorced. My mother mentioned that he’s got a new family now, but he didn’t even reach out to tell me. I guess he doesn’t care.”</p><p>“You know, sometimes we lose contact with people and automatically assume that they don’t wish to reconnect with us again. In some cases, they actually want to, but they’re just too afraid to open up and reach out first,” Johnny comments. Then, he adds hastily, “Obviously I can’t speak for your father and you, but that’s just from my personal experience.” </p><p>Doyoung nods, slowly processing Johnny’s words. When Doyoung is with Johnny, he feels like a flower shedding its petals. He sheds a petal each time they’re together, plucking away a part of himself to be exposed out in the open until he is bare and only left with his core, stem, and roots. Somehow, being vulnerable feels okay when it’s with Johnny and for the first time in two years since his last relationship, Doyoung catches himself feeling comfortable with opening up. </p><p>He still has a few more petals left to share with Johnny—stories and memories about his past relationships that he’s not ready to draw out of his mind just yet—but he’s confident that when the time comes, Johnny will be there to listen to him.   </p><p>Johnny extends his hand and pierces the pieces of cucumber on the edge of Doyoung’s plate with his fork. “I’ll eat this for you if you don’t like them,” he teases. </p><p>They’re in the middle of talking about Johnny’s favourite band when he cuts off. “Mm!” Johnny perks up in his seat like he remembered something. “Did you see my text this morning about Jeno?” </p><p>Johnny had texted Doyoung sometime after nine, asking if Doyoung would be able to pick Jeno up from daycare after work next Wednesday. </p><p>“I did,” Doyoung nods. “I can pick him up and keep him at my place until you finish work?” </p><p>“That would be great, thank you,” Johnny scratches the back of his head, looking somewhat apologetic. “His godfather—Jaehyun—usually picks him up on Wednesday afternoons. He was away for a short business trip that time when I asked you to pick him up.”</p><p>“Is he going away again?”</p><p>“He is,” Johnny confirms. “He’s going to Europe for a holiday. He’ll be away for three weeks—”</p><p>“Okay,” Doyoung smiles knowingly, “I can watch over Jeno for you on Wednesday evenings until he gets back.” </p><p>“You’re the best,” Johnny whines. “What did I do to deserve you?” </p><p>Doyoung flicks the tissue he’s using to wipe the grease off his hands in Johnny’s direction. Johnny ducks to the side with a squawk and they both burst into laughter when a couple of businessmen dining next to them send them weird looks. </p><p>Doyoung doesn’t voice this but <i>he</i> should be the one questioning what he did to deserve someone like Johnny in his life. </p><p>At some point, Johnny has started walking Doyoung back to work at the end of his lunch break. Today’s an exception though, and Doyoung can’t help but feel a little disappointed. </p><p>“I’m sorry, I wish I could walk with you but I need to head to the bank before my shift,” Johnny says when they’re outside the restaurant. “I have to do the, you know, adult stuff.” </p><p>Doyoung raises his hand to cover his mouth as he chuckles, “Don’t worry, I understand.” Being an adult is a pain in the back—no pun intended, though Doyoung has been experiencing lower back pain these days—but Doyoung is glad that Johnny can relate.</p><p>He waves goodbye to Johnny and turns on his heels to head back to work. Since he’ll be walking alone today, he’ll actually make it back to work before his break ends. </p><p>“Hey Doyoung,” Johnny calls abruptly, his hand wrapping around Doyoung’s wrist to hold him back. </p><p>Doyoung pauses in his steps. “Yeah?”</p><p>Johnny examines his face, scanning from Doyoung’s eyes to his nose, lips, then back up to his eyes. “Take care on the roads, yeah?” he says softly. His grip on Doyoung’s wrist remains, a little firm but Doyoung feels safe. </p><p>Doyoung swallows hard. They’ve met up for lunch so many times yet this is the first time that Johnny has said this. The concern is evident in both the way he looks at Doyoung and the way his voice softens—just like how Doyoung’s mother used to say, “Come home safely,” as he leaves the house. </p><p>Teaching a new driver has its risks but they both know that Johnny’s job as a firefighter holds more risk than Doyoung’s job. </p><p>“I will,” Doyoung replies, reaching out to hold Johnny’s hand. “You take care as well.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>The hardest part about babysitting Jeno is keeping him away from the cats. Doyoung understands that Jeno is just curious and that he loves Doyoung’s cats with his whole heart (Doyoung can relate, a thousand percent), but there’s nothing else that frightens him more than Jeno’s allergies flaring up while he’s over at Doyoung’s.</p><p>“Urgh, I won’t be able to face Johnny if he gets sick,” Doyoung mumbles to himself, pressing the heel of his palms against his eyes. </p><p>Jeno proceeds to flop over and lay on Hana like she’s a pillow. Hana’s head swivels to observe the sudden weight pressing against her body. Doyoung doesn’t even have time to exclaim before Hana slides her body out from under Jeno’s head. </p><p>The pitiful yelp that Jeno lets out as his head hits the carpeted floor sends terror through Doyoung’s body. </p><p>“Jeno!” Doyoung shouts, rushing over to his side. </p><p>Hana makes a run for the sofa, squeezing herself into the small gap under the sofa. It’s a mystery how she manages to flatten herself and fit under there. </p><p>“Ouch,” Jeno cries, raising his hands to cover the part of his head that hurts. </p><p>As Doyoung fusses over him, he slowly learns that Jeno is more hurt that Hana had run away than hitting his head on the ground.  </p><p>Jeno recovers from the minor accident rather quickly, especially after Doyoung kissed it better. Jeno said that his mother always kissed it better when he got hurt and insisted that Doyoung had to do the same. </p><p>In less than five minutes, he’s back on his feet and off on a cat hunt again. Doyoung’s heart doesn’t recover quite as fast. The search results on google for ‘how to tell if a child has a concussion’ is a load of rubbish and if anything, it scares Doyoung even more. </p><p>“I look away for one second and this happens,” Doyoung moans, closing all the tabs on his phone. He’s tempted to flop over on the sofa and bury his face into the cushions but a part of him knows that something else is going to happen if he looks away again. </p><p>It’s only seven in the evening, yet it feels like Doyoung has been babysitting Jeno for a whole day. </p><p>Hoping that Jeno will leave the cats alone, Doyoung suggests, “Jeno sweetie, let’s draw together.”</p><p>“No drawing,” Jeno decides. He inches closer to Rina and she remains stationary while he pets her head. “Uncle Doyoung, play with the kitties!” </p><p>Doyoung spends the next half hour thinking of an excuse that will trick a three-year-old and by half-past seven, he finds his solution. </p><p>“It’s time for the kitties to sleep now!” Doyoung rounds up Hana and urges her to head down the hallway, in the direction of his laundry room. He’s filled with guilt every time he shuts his cats in there, but it’s the only place in his small apartment that’s enclosed and not his bedroom or the bathroom. </p><p>“Okay,” Jeno says sadly, giving Rina another pat. She nuzzles her face against Jeno’s palm. Although it’s an adorable sight, Doyoung’s brain yells at him to ensure Jeno washes his hands first thing when the cats are out of the way. </p><p>Doyoung makes a mental note to hide the cats before Jeno arrives next time and to re-use the sleeping excuse because it works like a wonder. Johnny said that Jeno usually falls asleep by half-past eight latest so Doyoung has about an hour to try to feed Jeno. </p><p>Since he was able to give Doyoung a notice in advance this time, Johnny prepares a note, detailing little tips on caring for Jeno. He highlighted the part about eating, emphasising that his therapist is working with them to make eating and mealtime a positive experience for Jeno. </p><p>“It’s important to give him a choice so that he feels that he’s being heard and not being forced to do something he doesn’t like,” Johnny explained one time when they were having lunch, roughly two weeks ago. “If he refuses food, I have to make sure that I don’t make a big fuss out of it, which—I have to say—is really hard. I don’t even know if he’s getting enough nutrients at times but he’s growing, so that’s a positive.”</p><p>Doyoung replays the entire conversation in his mind as he makes a sandwich for Jeno. Johnny also vaguely mentioned about how he introduced new foods to Jeno and how Jeno often responded well when he had the chance to explore and play with it before trying how it tastes. </p><p>Since the shape of his food can affect how he responds, Doyoung’s curious as to whether or not Jeno will be willing to try apples with skin on if he cuts them into a different shape.</p><p>He hears Jeno wander into the kitchen as he slices the apples. </p><p>“Can I come tomorrow?” Jeno is nowhere to be seen but Doyoung can hear his voice from the other side of the kitchen counter. </p><p>“Mmm maybe at night. You can ask your dad,” Doyoung hums as he carefully carves the apple slice into a small rabbit. Yuta had sent him some pictures of his own rabbit apples when Doyoung asked him for inspiration. Never had he ever imagined that having a friend who works as a professional chef would be useful in this way. </p><p>“Morning?” Jeno presses, the crown of his small head bobbing around the corner of the counter. </p><p>“No, at night. You have to go to daycare in the morning,” Doyoung explains, “I have to go to work.” </p><p>“Work? Where do you work?”</p><p>Doyoung glances up to watch Jeno’s curious face appear and Doyoung nearly nicks his index finger with the fruit knife. “I work near your dad’s workplace.”</p><p>At the mention of his father, Jeno jumps excitedly, “Are you a firefighter?” </p><p>“No,” Doyoung chuckles, “I teach people how to drive.” </p><p>He’s learning a lot about children from babysitting Jeno here and there. Just a few months ago, he would’ve thought that three-year-old children wouldn’t understand a word when adults talked to them but Jeno has proven to him that children his age can be quite inquisitive and clever. </p><p>“Drive? I want to drive! Can you teach me?” </p><p>Doyoung sets down the fruit knife safely in the sink where Jeno cannot reach. He dries his hand with a tea towel and he reaches down to ruffle Jeno’s hair. </p><p>“Maybe when you’re older.” </p><p>He expects Jeno to protest and demand Doyoung to teach him to drive now. But like every other time he hangs out with Jeno, he surprises him in the best possible way. Jeno dances around the kitchen and visibly lights up at Doyoung’s words. </p><p>After Jeno finishes the sandwich, Doyoung brings out the apple rabbits. Jeno squeals in delight, immediately reaching out to touch the apple in awe. Doyoung can’t help but beam at him. He smiles so hard that his cheeks hurt. </p><p>Jeno plays with the rabbits, laying them side by side and even places them around Doyoung’s apartment. He doesn’t eat them, but before he heads to bed, he specifically asks Doyoung, “Bring the rabbits next time?” </p><p>It’s oddly heartwarming, though it gets Doyoung thinking that maybe—just maybe—he’s starting to understand why Johnny loves children and more specifically, why Jeno is his whole world.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>Having spent most of his spare time with Johnny and Jeno, two months pass by in a blur and before Doyoung knows it, it’s been ages since he last saw his friends. They’ve been chatting, of course, sometimes texting in their group chat or calling each other for brief catch-ups. But it’s been a while since they have been together in person.</p><p>Yuta invites him over for dinner, so after work on Friday, Doyoung heads home and changes out of his work uniform then commutes to Yuta and Taeyong’s place. Taeyong is ecstatic when Doyoung whips out a paper bag filled with chocolate chip cookies. </p><p>“I was baking cookies for Jeno and I made lots,” Doyoung beams, pleased with Taeyong’s expression of delight as he bites into a cloud-shaped cookie. “We couldn’t finish it all, even after Johnny took some home for Jeno’s twin.”</p><p>Taeyong looks a little worn out and explains that work has been rather stressful because the new employees are struggling with their portion of work. </p><p>“It’s like on top of all the things I have to do already, I have to clean up after them as well? Undo any mistakes they’ve made and complete their tasks properly for them,” Taeyong frowns as he reaches for another cookie. “I’m trying to be as understanding as possible because they’re new grads and we were all in their shoes at some point.”</p><p>They converse quietly as Yuta finishes up in the kitchen, scooping large servings of steaming hot Japanese curry onto three plates. </p><p>“Wow! Thanks, Yuta, I haven’t had curry in ages.” Doyoung leans forward to catch a good whiff of the hot rice and curry. “Last time I had curry was probably when Johnny took me out to lunch with his kids. That time when I met his other son for the first time.”</p><p>“Oh yeah, I remember that. The fusion restaurant beside that giant play centre for kids right? My coworker has eaten there before and she recommended it to us,” Yuta smiles, handing out chopsticks and spoons. “There’s corn soup for later. I also made sweet red bean soup for dessert.”</p><p>“Now this is why I love being friends with you Yuta,” Doyoung says cheekily. </p><p>The smile on Yuta’s face is blinding. “And I love feeding the people I love, so this is why I love being friends with <i>you</i>.” </p><p>As they dig in, the only sound in the room is the clinking of utensils against the porcelain plates. The light atmosphere shifts halfway through dinner when conversations resume. Doyoung certainly does not miss the looks Yuta and Taeyong keep exchanging across the table. In the four years that his best friends have been dating, Doyoung has never felt this uncomfortable in their presence. There’s an unspoken secret, an elephant in the room, and Doyoung hates that he’s the only one who doesn’t know what exactly it is about.</p><p>“What’s wrong? Just spit it out. I hate that look you keep sending me,” Doyoung announces, slamming his bowl down on the table. “Both of you.”</p><p>“Doyoung, I’d be a bit careful about your boundaries with Johnny,” Taeyong starts slowly, eyes flickering between Yuta—for reassurance—and Doyoung.</p><p>Taken aback, Doyoung grapes for a few seconds before he demands, “Why are we talking about Johnny all of a sudden?”</p><p>“Because that’s all you ever talk about these days Doyoung, and it’s not a bad thing but we just want to make sure that you’re okay,” Yuta says, laying it out on the table. </p><p>Yuta has always been the more direct person out of their friendship group, never afraid to confront someone about something that’s on his mind. Doyoung wonders why Yuta hasn’t raised this with him earlier but shakes his head when he realises that it was probably because of Taeyong, who is not as comfortable with confrontations. </p><p>“Okay yeah, I’ve been spending more time with him but he’s my neighbour—my new friend. What’s wrong with that?”</p><p>“There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just—“</p><p>Cutting Taeyong off, Doyoung jumps to his feet. “You said it yourself, there’s nothing wrong with that!” </p><p>His chair scoots backwards and tips over, crashing against the ground with a loud clatter. Doyoung whips his head around to check the commotion behind him. He didn’t mean to get so worked up or to raise his voice at his friends. </p><p>He presses his lips together tightly, working up the courage to apologise. </p><p>“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I reacted like that. I must be tired,” Doyoung says, forcing himself to look at Yuta and Taeyong in the eyes. Admitting that he was at fault is still hard but his friends have taught him over the years that communication opens up the pathway to the future and he doesn’t want to sever this friendship over a petty argument. </p><p>“It’s okay,” Taeyong says softly, resting a hand on Doyoung’s shoulder. He applies a little pressure, urging Doyoung to sit down. “Let’s finish our meal first then we can have a civil conversation about whatever you want after dinner.” </p><p>Like with every host, Yuta and Taeyong usher Doyoung out of the kitchen when he insists on cleaning up after dinner. </p><p>“Shoo, get out of here before I get truly mad,” Yuta waves him away. “The kitchen is my territory.” </p><p>“It’s just the dishes, Yuta. I’m an adult, I do them every day,” Doyoung huffs. </p><p>“Oh do you?” Taeyong teases, “Every day?” </p><p>“Everyday.” Doyoung kicks at Taeyong’s shin but fails miserably. Taeyong has become accustomed to Doyoung’s physical attacks over the years and dodges successfully almost all the time these days. </p><p>“Alright, alright. Come, be a good guest and come sit quietly in the living room while we serve you dessert,” Taeyong scratches Doyoung under his chin the way Doyoung always does with his cats. </p><p>Doyoung dreads the conversation heading his way but he knows that there’s no use hiding or beating around the bush. This conversation will resume eventually, whether he likes it or not. He’ll just have to get this over with, like with his flu shots—a quick painful jab and then it’ll all be over. </p><p>“Why are you worried about me—about my relationship with Johnny?” Doyoung initiates. Peel off the bandaid real quick, he reminds himself. Tear it off. Like a quick jab. It’ll be over soon. </p><p>“Doyoung, we’ve been friends for many years and we know when someone very important has stepped into your personal circle,” Yuta says, handing Doyoung and Taeyong each a bowl of red bean soup. “We’ve heard many wonderful things about Johnny but we want to know if you’ve considered where you’re at in life and where he’s at.”</p><p>“Johnny and I aren’t dating!” Doyoung protests, setting down his bowl. Just in case he accidentally drops or hurls it in the heat of the moment. “Like I said, we’re good friends and that’s about it.” His words sink uncomfortably into his stomach and he knows that he’s not being truthful. At least, not completely. </p><p>“You have feelings for him, do you not?” Yuta raises his eyebrows and Doyoung shrinks back, feeling like a child being reprimanded by a teacher. “We’ve known you long enough to know what you’re like when you’re in—“</p><p>“Don’t. Don’t say that word,” Doyoung begs. “I don’t want to hear it.” Not after breaking things off on a bad note with Ten. It’s been two years but the scar is still fresh. </p><p>“Doyoung, Yuta and I were so happy to hear about Johnny. We thought that maybe you were finally moving on, you know, after all that,” Taeyong says, skirting around the topic.  “If you have feelings for Johnny, we’ll support you wholeheartedly. But we want to make sure you’ve thought it through carefully.”</p><p>“Think what through?” Doyoung presses, hating the way his voice trembles and his eyes water. </p><p>“Johnny is a parent and there are things you need to consider. Would you be ready or willing to raise his kids with him? Are you mentally ready for another committed relationship?” Yuta not-so-subtly omits the parts about Doyoung’s heart being broken by his last partner. “Is he ready for another relationship?”</p><p>The questions sink into Doyoung, one by one. They strike him like arrows and the deep thoughts that surface beneath the wounds of these mental arrows frighten Doyoung. He doesn’t know if he’s ready. In the time that he has spent with Johnny, he has temporarily forgotten about his past relationships—until this conversation—but he knows for certain that Johnny can, and will continue to, make him happy. </p><p>“I don’t know,” Doyoung buries his face into his hands. “What if he never liked me that way in the first place?”</p><p>Someone’s arms wrap around him and with the way they nuzzle their cheek against Doyoung’s head, Doyoung knows it’s Taeyong. </p><p>“Oh Doyoung, we didn’t bring this up to plant seeds of doubt,” Taeyong whispers. </p><p>Doyoung wants to reply and say that it’s too late for that because the seeds have already been watered and they’re growing rapidly, spawning tall stems and wicked green leaves. </p><p>“Johnny sounds like he cares about you—a lot—from everything that you’ve told us about. Maybe now is a good time to speak with him, to see where he stands with all this. Don’t let the voices inside you speak for Johnny,” Yuta reassures. </p><p>“And maybe let us meet him as well?” Taeyong squeaks quietly and it forces Doyoung into a small smile.</p><p>Doyoung knows that he’s avoided this conversation with Johnny about their relationship many times. They joke freely about their Wednesday lunch meetings being ‘dates’ but they’ve never called it a date in a serious way. They hang out all the time, especially on Saturdays or Sundays when Jeno is away at his mother’s place but neither of them has made the move to ask the other out on a formal date. </p><p>Deep down, Doyoung knows very well that the reason why he’s so, so afraid to confront his feelings head-on, is because he is unsure if Johnny is still secretly in love with Sunyoung. And he doesn’t know what he’ll do if that’s the case.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>This Wednesday, they’re eating at a Thai restaurant. Doyoung hasn’t eaten Thai food in years. At least, not since he separated with Ten. The mere thought of eating Thai food makes Doyoung’s stomach lurch and it brings back the memories of Ten at full force.</p><p>His mind has built strong associations between Ten and Thai culture—the food, the language, the beautiful place that Thailand is. Sharing the culture that he grew up with was always special for Ten and Doyoung loved the way he lit up at the mention of his favourite dish or his favourite traditions. His favourite this and that. Back then, Doyoung had loved and appreciated Ten’s culture. </p><p>He knows that deep down he still feels that way, but he just can’t feel it now. Not with his heart sketchily patched up after the conversation with Yuta and Taeyong. It had reopened an old wound and Doyoung isn’t ready to confront his feelings and heal. </p><p>Doyoung was reluctant to eat at this place at first, but after seeing how excited Johnny was to try out a new cuisine, he couldn’t find the heart to turn him down. So Doyoung finds himself pushing open the door to the Thai restaurant near his work, butterflies in his stomach. He finds Johnny sitting by the window as always and he summons the largest smile he can manage.</p><p>“Hey,” Johnny greets. His smile is bright yet soft around the edges. Doyoung’s chest flutters when he realises that it’s the same smile that Johnny reserves for Jeno, and Jeno only. </p><p>Doyoung sinks into his seat, a cocktail of emotions churning inside him. “Hi,” he replies weakly. </p><p>“Are you feeling okay?” Johnny’s smile morphs into a frown and he leans closer to examine Doyoung. “You don’t look too well.” </p><p>Doyoung holds back a small whimper. He wants Johnny’s smile to come back—he needs to be distracted right now. But Johnny sounds and looks so concerned that it instantly reminds him of his thoughts about Ten. </p><p>“I’m a little tired today,” Doyoung says quietly, reaching out for the glass of water Johnny poured for him. He takes a small sip. He’s not being a hundred percent honest with Johnny right now, but he will find the time and the mental energy to open up about Ten one day. Just not today. </p><p>“Take care of yourself, yeah?” Johnny urges. The frown disappears on his face but the concern is still evident in his voice. </p><p>They shift their attention to ordering food for lunch and the tension eases, particularly when Johnny practically lights up like a child as he scans the menu. There are many dishes that Johnny wants to try so they decide to order a few to share. </p><p>“I’ll pick two and you pick two?” Johnny grins, flipping through the menu until he gets to the end. “Ooh look, dessert!” </p><p>“Four is too many,” Doyoung frowns, “are you sure?” </p><p>Johnny shrugs, “Leftovers can be my dinner. It’ll save me from cooking after work.” </p><p>Doyoung mirrors Johnny and shrugs too. “If you insist.” </p><p>As they order their lunch, Doyoung skirts around all of Ten’s favourite dishes and orders other things that he has never tried before. His efforts to avoid any direct reminders of Ten are futile as Johnny ends up ordering Ten’s favourite dish. </p><p>“Johnny, I don’t know if you’re comfortable sharing this,” Doyoung begins. He doesn’t have the courage to continue though, not when Johnny’s staring at him with an expectant look. </p><p>Johnny’s hand travels across the table and covers Doyoung’s. “Hey, it’s okay,” he says softly. “We’ve talked about many things—I’ve opened up, you’ve opened up. It’s okay to ask and talk about things.”</p><p>Doyoung swallows hard and nods. “I was wondering about Sunyoung.” </p><p>Johnny’s eyes remain locked with Doyoung’s, even when he’s squeezing Doyoung’s hand. “Yes?” </p><p>“Do you… still love her?” </p><p>And there it is. Doyoung wishes for the feeling of relief after asking the question that has been circling his mind nonstop since he arrived home from dinner with Yuta and Taeyong. But he feels anything but relieved right now. It’s a personal question and it’s out in the open; there’s no taking it back. </p><p>He expects Johnny to hesitate before answering or say something like, “Can I get back to you after I think about it?”</p><p>Instead, Johnny replies with confidence. “No,” he says with a steady voice, “I don’t love her anymore. At least, not in a romantic way.” </p><p>Doyoung tries his best to shut out the voice of insecurity in his mind as it rings alarm bells and screams at him. Johnny has his reasons, Doyoung reassures himself. </p><p>Johnny reassures him too, with a squeeze of his hand. </p><p>“She’s my best friend. I feel about her the same way I feel about Jaehyun. After we parted ways, I caught myself missing her time after time. It took me a long time to realise this, but I realised that it wasn’t her that I missed back then. What I missed was our memories together,” Johnny shares. He sounds so honest, so sincere, that Doyoung feels like Johnny has laid out his feelings on the table in a way that’s visible to the naked eye. </p><p>“Do you regret separating with her?” Doyoung asks, unable to stop the trembling in his body. </p><p>Johnny shakes his head. “We helped each other grow—for the better I must say—and I don’t resent her or the way things panned out.” He shifts his hand off Doyoung’s to lace their fingers together. “The only thing I regret—more than Sunyoung having to give birth by herself—is having to separate the twins,” Johnny’s eyes flicker away, flitting over the contents on the table.</p><p>Doyoung had a feeling that Johnny felt this way about the twins. It was subtle but Doyoung sensed it somehow, in the way that Johnny interacts with Jeno and Donghyuck. His chest tightens, hating that his gut feeling was right. </p><p>“I know it’s the best solution we were able to come up with for our current situation, but it’s not ideal. I want the boys to have a proper family with two parents caring for them full-time. Even at such a young age, Donghyuck and Jeno have gotten used to living separately during the week then coming back together on the weekend. They don’t question that—they’ve just accepted it.” </p><p>There are tears in Johnny’s eyes but he holds them back. Doyoung wants to wipe them away for him. He wants to remind Johnny that he’s trying his best and sometimes, that’s enough.</p><p>“Their hearts… Doyoung, they’re so pure and innocent it makes me so sad,” Johnny says, his voice breaking. “I want them to be together but there’s no way Sunyoung or myself can raise them together when we’re both single parents.”</p><p>In the short period of time that they have known each other, Doyoung has learned of Johnny’s sincerity and kindness. He wants to hold Johnny’s hand every time he feels like this; like he’s not doing enough for his kids. Doyoung wants to make sure that Johnny is reminded that he is doing the best he can. </p><p>Although he won’t admit this out loud—at least, not right now—a part of him also wants to hold Johnny’s hand and walk alongside him as he grows and finds his feet as a father. </p><p>As with every other conversation they have together over lunch on Wednesdays, the waiter interrupts them as they serve the food. They begin to eat in silence, the mood somewhat sombre. Things slowly pick up and start looking brighter towards the end of their meal when Johnny mentions that Jaehyun will be away again next week. </p><p>“Will you be able to babysit Jeno for a few hours before I finish work?” Johnny asks.</p><p>“Of course,” Doyoung accepts his request immediately. “The real question is, when will I actually get to meet Jaehyun himself?” he asks with a grin. </p><p>“Hey, it’s not my fault that Jaehyun’s always busy,” Johnny nudges Doyoung’s ankle under the table with his foot. “I’ll ask him and we’ll figure out a time.” </p><p>Doyoung asks questions about Jaehyun and Johnny answers them all. He learns about how Johnny met Jaehyun, how long they’ve been friends for, and the kind of person Jaehyun is. Likewise, Johnny asks about Doyoung’s closest friends and Doyoung tells him everything. About how Yuta is loving his new job, how they think Kun is seeing someone right now but is not ready to tell them all, and how Taeyong is annoyed that Doyoung wants to make dinosaur cookies with Jeno but not with him. </p><p>“They sound lovely,” Johnny says warmly, “I’d love to meet them one day too.” </p><p>Doyoung nods, agreeing. “I want you to meet them too. I want them to meet Jeno as well! And Donghyuck, if he happens to be staying over when you meet them.” </p><p>In Doyoung’s opinion, the meal ends on a bright note. Certainly not because he wins when they’re at the counter bickering about whose turn it is to pay. Johnny walks him back to work and as they stroll away from the restaurant, Doyoung finds the courage to hold Johnny’s hand. He expects Johnny to jerk away or appear surprised but Johnny doesn’t say anything. He only holds Doyoung’s hand tighter as they continue to walk. </p><p>“Hey guess what?” Johnny asks when they’re two streets away from Doyoung’s workplace. </p><p>“What?” Doyoung grunts back.</p><p>“You’re supposed to guess!” Johnny sighs like Doyoung has ruined the fun. </p><p>Doyoung elbows him. “Just tell me.” </p><p>Johnny lets out another dramatic sigh. “Fine. It’s Jeno and Donghyuck’s fourth birthday next week.” Johnny’s lips draw back into a dazzling smile, completely oblivious to the way Doyoung nearly loses his footing as they cross the road. As Johnny rubs his thumb over the back of Doyoung’s hand, Doyoung is reminded that their hands are still laced together. </p><p>“Sunyoung and I were thinking of holding a small party for them—just family and maybe their godparents. Would you like to help me out? You’re amazing at baking.” </p><p>Doyoung shakes his head, “I can’t make their birthday cake, it’s too much pressure!” </p><p>“You can bake dinosaur cookies then. And those cupcakes that you made for Donghyuck and Sunyoung last time? They loved that.” </p><p>Johnny mentions that the party will be at his apartment. Since he didn’t have a housewarming party, Sunyoung had insisted that they had the birthday party at his place.</p><p>“You know what that means right?” Johnny asks, checking their surroundings carefully as they cross the road. Unsure of what Johnny is trying to hint at, Doyoung shakes his head again. “It means you’re invited too, silly.” </p><p>Doyoung stops walking abruptly but Johnny tugs him along, throwing a comment about staying safe on the roads in Doyoung’s direction. </p><p>“What do you mean I’m invited? It’s a family gathering,” Doyoung protests but Johnny throws his head back and guffaws. He blinks at Johnny, confused. “I don’t understand.” </p><p>“You know, Sunyoung said to me the other day that you’re practically family at this point. Especially with how much Jeno talks about you.” Jokingly rolling his eyes, Johnny adds, “Like <i>all</i> the time. You’re going to make Jaehyun jealous!” </p><p>Before Doyoung can decline his invitation, Johnny sneaks a peck on his cheek. Johnny doesn’t wait for his reaction, turning on his heels to walk back in the direction they had come from. Doyoung gapes, glancing from his work building to Johnny’s back.</p><p>“Bye! Stay safe on the roads!” Johnny calls without turning back, waving his hand in the air. </p><p>The realisation only dawns on Doyoung when he is about to start his first afternoon lesson with a student. His body was filled with dread when he showed up to lunch with Johnny, but Johnny somehow turned things around. The thought that he didn’t think about Ten, not even once, after they had ordered their food, is frightening yet somewhat relieving.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>The night before Jeno and Donghyuck’s birthday party, Doyoung visits Johnny’s apartment for dinner. Johnny impresses him with his cooking skills and cooks steaks for all of them.</p><p>“Believe it or not, Mr Jeno actually likes steak,” Johnny says as he sets the pan on the stove. </p><p>“Protein’s good,” Doyoung hums absentmindedly, completely distracted by how attractive Johnny looks as he works his way around the kitchen. </p><p>Jeno is sitting at his small table near the living room, his eyebrows pinched together as he concentrates on the way his blue crayon moves across the piece of paper before him. His table is strategically placed so that Johnny can still see him from where he is cooking in the kitchen. He’s dressed in little overalls today and it’s an adorable sight. </p><p>When Doyoung arrived half an hour ago, Jeno made a huge fuss about having to stay home instead of visiting Doyoung’s place. He demanded to see the cats but Johnny turned him down. </p><p>“We’re not seeing the cats today,” Johnny said firmly.</p><p>Jeno, who was sitting on the sofa beside Doyoung, sprawled himself over Doyoung’s lap with a loud whine, “But it’s my birthday tomorrow.” </p><p>“It’s also your birthday party tomorrow. Uncle Doyoung has come to help you,” Johnny explained, refusing to budge. “He’s going to teach you how to make cookies.”</p><p>“I want to see them today!” </p><p>The conversation continued in circles but Johnny stood his ground. It was only when Doyoung suggested that Jeno should draw pictures of the cats and show it to them next time that Jeno finally gave up. </p><p>“God, his birthday is really tomorrow, huh?” Doyoung murmurs, watching as Jeno vigorously colours his paper. He wonders if Jeno is really drawing the cats like he suggested. </p><p>“It’s so quick honestly,” Johnny nods, “I feel like I was just celebrating their second birthday with them and then all of a sudden, both of my boys have grown tall enough to reach my thighs.”</p><p>“Donghyuck’s growing faster than Jeno right?” Doyoung asks. Last time he saw Donghyuck, he had grown taller than the first time Doyoung had met him. </p><p>Johnny sets a piece of steak on the pan, unfazed by the loud sizzle that fills the room instantly. “Just a little bit, not by much though. I think his growth is more prominent because we don’t see him as often.”</p><p>“Maybe,” Doyoung scratches his head. </p><p>Deciding that his heart might beat erratically if he watches Johnny for another second, Doyoung turns to look at the fridge. He finds it amusing how one can evidently see where Jeno can or cannot reach by how the items are placed on the fridge. At the bottom of the fridge, magnetic letters and animals are scattered throughout in a disorderly fashion. Towards the middle, a spot that Jeno can see but cannot reach, Johnny had put up two of Jeno’s drawings. </p><p>As Doyoung leans closer, he notices that Johnny had dated them at the bottom right corner with a blue pen and that one of the drawings was actually done by Donghyuck. The freezer door at the top of the fridge is by far the most interesting. Photos of Jeno and Donghyuck are arranged neatly, some held up by small magnets while others are taped onto the door. </p><p>Doyoung points at one of the photos and turns to ask Johnny, “Is that photo from when they were born?” </p><p>“Which one?” Johnny glances over his shoulder briefly, “oh, that one. Sunyoung gave that one to me actually. I never got to see them as babies so…” </p><p>“Oh my goodness, they were really small. How can a baby be so <i>tiny</i>?” Doyoung exclaims. </p><p>Johnny chortles, “Yeah, Sunyoung said they were six weeks premature. It’s amazing, isn’t it? How they grow from something so small and delicate to little fussy toddlers and now, four-year-old boys!” </p><p>By the time Doyoung has examined every single photo, Johnny is done cooking. Doyoung wanders over to peek at the clean plates with freshly cooked steak on them. </p><p>“Damn this smells so good, you’re a chef,” Doyoung praises, almost drooling at the smell. </p><p>“I don’t know man, would Yuta say this is good?” </p><p>“You’ll have to ask him yourself,” Doyoung replies. “You should cook this for him when you meet him.” </p><p>“And make a bad impression of myself first meeting? No thanks!” Johnny laughs, pulling one of the plates closer to him. He cuts off a part of his steak and slices it into small bite-sized chunks. “Dinner’s ready, Jeno! Go wash your hands.”</p><p>Doyoung helps him set the table. “Hey, I’m being honest when I say this looks good. I’m sure Yuta would agree.” </p><p>“Yuta’s a chef and you’re—”</p><p>“Don’t finish that sentence,” Doyoung pinches his arm.</p><p>When dinner’s over, Johnny washes up while Doyoung prepares the ingredients for the cookies. They had decided that it would be hard for Jeno to reach the kitchen counter and that it would be dangerous if he had to stand on a chair, so Doyoung sets up a temporary work station for Jeno. He wipes down Jeno’s small table and sets down some of the ingredients like chocolate chips and butter. Since making a mess will be inevitable, Doyoung attempts to contain it by keeping the flour in the kitchen, where it is out of Jeno’s reach. </p><p>“How are you feeling?” Johnny questions out of the blue, after asking Jeno to wash his hands.</p><p>Doyoung pauses to think. “Nervous,” he admits.</p><p>“About cookie making?” </p><p>He gets a feeling that Johnny is holding a joke back, perhaps about how disastrous making cookies with a three-almost-four-year-old boy can actually get. But baking is messy and Doyoung is used to that, so he’s more than ready to take on what baking with Jeno might bring.</p><p>Doyoung lets out a nervous laugh as he shakes his head. He’s nervous about many things. Tomorrow will be a big day and although there will only be a few people at the party, they’re incredibly important people. Like Sunyoung. </p><p>As if reading his mind, Johnny asks, “Ah, are you thinking about the party tomorrow? About meeting Sunyoung?” </p><p>“Yeah, I don’t know what to expect,” Doyoung croaks, feeling his throat tighten. </p><p>He really doesn’t know how everyone will respond to him tomorrow. Will Sunyoung like him? Or will she feel uncomfortable around him because not only is he hanging around her ex, he’s also spending a lot of time around her children?</p><p>“You’re thinking too hard,” Johnny says with a small smile. He wipes his hands dry and he ambles over to Doyoung’s side. “They’ll love you, I promise.” </p><p>“You can’t promise that,” Doyoung replies weakly. He thinks about how Jeno and Donghyuck accepted him so easily after meeting him for the first time. Adults aren’t as naive and they may or may not show their feelings truthfully like children. </p><p>“I know Sunyoung like the back of my hand, Doyoung. She’s my best friend. I’ve told her so much about you and she’s really excited to meet you,” Johnny rests a hand on Doyoung’s shoulder, rubbing his thumb reassuringly. </p><p>“She is?”</p><p>Johnny nods. “Very excited. Like, Jeno’s level of excitement when he sees your cats.” </p><p>Doyoung laughs softly, “That’s a very high level of excitement.”</p><p>Five minutes into cookie making, Doyoung hands the ingredients one by one to Jeno in small containers, holding his hand and guiding it so that they pour it into a mixing bowl together. Even with Doyoung’s support, Jeno somehow manages to drop the small measuring cup filled with flour onto the ground. </p><p>“Oopsie,” Jeno blurts. His small hands are completely covered in flour. </p><p>“It’s okay,” Doyoung says as he picks up the cup off the floor and sets it in the sink. “We can try again.” </p><p>Johnny hovers behind them and watches on as they make the cookies. Jeno loses interest halfway but comes back when Doyoung brings out the dinosaur-shaped cookie cutter. </p><p>“All done!” Doyoung announces as he shuts the oven door. </p><p>“Yay!” Jeno cheers, “are they ready?” </p><p>“We have to wait now,” Doyoung explains. He points at the oven timer. “When this goes off, the cookies will be all ready to come out.” </p><p>As he squats down to high five Jeno, he notices how messy his hands are. “Let’s go wash our hands!” </p><p>Doyoung stands back up, nudges Jeno gently from behind in the direction of the bathroom. He notices that one of Jeno’s overall straps is tangled and the other is slipping off his shoulder. He makes a mental note to fix it for him when he gets back. Right now his hands are dirty too, covered in flour and melted chocolate.</p><p>“Wait, Doyoung,” Johnny calls, setting aside his phone. </p><p>He must have been taking photos of them. Doyoung noticed Johnny when he took the first photo but after a while, he forgot about Johnny’s presence. </p><p>“Jeno, go wash your hands first.”</p><p>Jeno skips off to the bathroom without hesitation. He’s probably used to that instruction from Johnny by now. </p><p>“Thank you so much,” Johnny says sincerely, walking up to Doyoung. “I can’t thank you enough. He had so much fun.” </p><p>One moment, Johnny’s approaching him then the next, he’s standing really close—much too close. </p><p>“I had fun too,” Doyoung murmurs. He’s not sure why he lowered his voice but he can’t think when Johnny is so close that they’re almost touching. He scans Johnny’s face.</p><p>“Doyoung, I’ve been wondering,” Johnny finally says, resting a steady hand on Doyoung’s shoulder. “Would you like to go out on a date with me? A proper one?” </p><p>Doyoung doesn’t know what he was expecting but it certainly was not this. He gapes dumbly, his brain unable to think faster. </p><p>“I—” he begins, eyes flitting around Johnny’s face, “I was going to ask you that.” </p><p>Johnny raises an eyebrow, “Were you?”</p><p>Feeling somewhat exposed, Doyoung mumbles under his breath, “Okay maybe not anytime soon but—I really was thinking about asking you out.” He tilts his head up, daring himself to stare at Johnny in the eye. “On a date, that is,” he adds, “but you beat me to it.” </p><p>Doyoung looks away. God, nothing is making sense anymore. His words are all jumbled up and he wants to unplug his brain, rewire it, and ask it why it isn’t functioning properly. </p><p>Johnny lets out a quiet laugh, small puffs of air escaping. “So is that a yes?”</p><p>“Of course it’s a yes,” Doyoung replies haughtily. Maybe his pride is hurt—just a little—that he didn’t get to ask first. But Johnny doesn’t need to know that. </p><p>“Okay good because I have another question for you.”</p><p>“What is it?”   </p><p>“Can I kiss you?” Johnny whispers. Doyoung swears Johnny is leaning in closer, though he can’t tell if he’s the one that’s swaying. </p><p>“Yeah,” Doyoung whispers back, eyes fluttering close, “but just a peck because Jeno—”</p><p>Johnny leans in until his lips are pressed against the edge of Doyoung’s lips. Then gently, he shifts so that their lips are aligned. Johnny’s pulling away before Doyoung even processes what’s happening.</p><p>“Is that okay?” Johnny asks, teasing.</p><p>“No,” Doyoung grumbles, “I take that back. I want a proper kiss.” </p><p>He angles his head and shuts his eyes, anticipating Johnny’s lips against his. He should have known that Johnny isn’t going to give him what he wants because in the next moment, Doyoung is being drawn into a tight hug. But Johnny gives nice hugs, so Doyoung’s not complaining. </p><p>Johnny stays still like that, even when they hear the loud pads of Jeno’s feet heading in their direction. </p><p>“I want a hug too!” Jeno chirps loudly.</p><p>Unwrapping an arm from around Johnny, Doyoung shifts back a little to glance at Jeno. “Of course sweetest, you can have as many hugs as you want,” Doyoung beams, feeling Johnny press a kiss against his temple. </p><p>Jeno crawls under Doyoung’s arm and presses himself against Doyoung’s side. He wraps his arms tightly around Doyoung’s legs, too small to reach higher and hug Doyoung’s upper body. When Johnny finally pulls away from the hug, he reaches down to pick Jeno up with one arm. He reaches out with his other arm to tug Doyoung closer and Doyoung allows him. </p><p>With Johnny pressed against his side and Jeno tucked in between them, Doyoung smiles to himself and thinks about how his twenty-year-old self would never have thought that this is what coming home feels like.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This fic wouldn't have been possible without the following people:<br/>- <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/zero_miles">Sam</a> for beta-ing this work (last minute ;;) &amp; for daily emotional support!<br/>- Admin Lucy for making this fest happen &amp; negotiating extensions<br/>- Berry for beta-ing this as well!<br/>- Tiara &amp; Justinne ♡ this fic is for you my bbs! Mama &amp; baby meow fans: pls say thank you to Justinne heh her meow meows inspired this fic!<br/>- All the readers &amp; the prompter! I hope you enjoyed this fic! </p><p><a href="https://twitter.com/jaexings"> ♡ Twitter</a> / <a href="https://curiouscat.me/jaexings">♡ Curiouscat</a> / <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/dohyucks">♡ Other works</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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